kuchaibee's logs and creations

hello! i haven't posted a lot recently, sorry about that ~w~. i wish i could say it's because i'm Super Busy, but it's not; the more correct answer is that i'm Lowkey Depressed. however! i've figured out the secret to hating myself less. it's Doing Things and Going Outside.

i've been kind of nervous to Go Outside recently because of my physical proximity to my ex-friends. like, seriously- i had THREE run-ins with different groups of friends in ONE DAY on my first outing after the school year ended. it's a nightmare. T-T at least my current friends are willing to accommodate me about that, when we hang out we usually take drive thrus and then go a little out of town or just directly to their house. i'm very thankful to them for that.    orz

so i'm basically Going Outside around once a week; Going Outside is different from normal going outside, though. Going Outside is some kind of event where i need to leave my physical location and hang out with someone for a decent period of time. i could probably stand to increase my normal going outside, though. i might start taking walks around my house or using my scooter to get some fresh air. (but last time i used my scooter i very nearly broke my hand! such is the way of life.)

the other component is Doing Things, which tends to either be some kind of craft project or a way to spruce up my current living conditions. my room at home is incredibly messy, and it's been this way basically as long as i can remember. something something neglected as a kid etc. it's very difficult to make it Unmessy right now because i have a bunch of stuff from the dorm that i already have equivalents of at home, and my parents won't let me store the boxes holding those things in a different place temporarily until my room gets to a better condition. (variants of this problem have been happening since i was 12). so the room gets messier and messier...

i try to hack away at it as much as i can, but i find it difficult to retain the motivation to clean unless i have something to listen to. i've been struggling to actually Find something to listen to, so my progress has slowed... but i'd like to get my room livable again soon!

in the meantime, i still have much more motivation for craft projects, which i find much more satisfying to do. i try to have a short-term thing i work at over the course of a few days, and a longer-term thing on the backburner that i work on whenever i have the time/money. my current short-term is a perler sprite of the roaring knight from deltarune! i finished most of it today, and tomorrow i'll be ironing the smaller bits and assembling the whole thing. (the sprite is a bit too big for my current board size...) after i finish with the knight, i'm gonna take another stab at my tenna sprite! i tried doing that one last summer, but i was too busy with rehearsals to finish it (and the initial ironing of the first segment went poorly). i think tenna will probably be my next short-term project!

after tenna and the knight, i think i'm gonna work on styling and collecting things for my itabag! i preordered a deltarune one (I'M AWARE) from fangamer a few months ago, and it arrived 2 or 3 days ago! i'm still trying to figure out who or what will be at the center, but i'm leaning towards it being ralsei. i'll have to see, though!

my longer-term project is a cosplay of ralsei from deltarune. you may have noticed a pattern here. i bought the top half and the bottom half, but the colors were further apart than i had expected. my mom suggested a dyeover of the lighter piece with a darker color to try and get them to match better. i have no guarantees this will work, and i've never dyed anything before, but i figure it's worth a shot! i'm going to be doing that part this weekend. i'll try to update with how that goes!

another project i've been hacking away at slowly is more thorough system documentation. trying to categorize things like which headmates have fit what splitting patterns, what periods of time headmates have split and why, who's interacted with who, etc. it's something we've been meaning to do for a long time, but having a lot of free time means i actually get to do it now. so far the results have been fairly unremarkable, but i expect it to start bearing fruit soon.

that's about all for now!! :]