Infinitesimal Significance (two big words spelled correctly)

Grief is Chaos

Thu, 16 May 2024 15:12:16 GMT

Grief is a slippery, dancing, horrible, unavoidable thing. We have so many ways to talk about it, even us deathworkers. We talk about moving with and through it. We say blessings to others of peace and strength. Sometimes we discuss “getting to the other side” of it. Grief isn't a wall you scale (though it can feel that way). There isn't a line you finally step over where all of present life returns to the sharp focus of before the grief. Your first grief (though you were too young to know its name) is like your first time having sex, the you afterward can never be the you that was prior to the experience. There is no returning to them.

When the world shatters you into grief, it is chaos. Loving someone, some thing, any thing means you've struck a bargain with grief. When it stomps through the door, it shoves you down, hard. You struggle for air, the rooms are topsy turvy. Everything tilts, shimmers like mirages, and nothing fits - furniture is uncomfortable, clothes rub the wrong way, sounds are deafening or whispers. You are upside down, floating in a debris field you cannot dodge.

As time moves around you there is less debris, but you see it in the edges of your vision. Chaos lessens, but doesn't become order. Eventually it settles into a still pool deep within you. As long as nothing ripples the surface, you do feel some peace and can plot your way through this new normalcy.

One pebble. That's it. One tiny pebble and your still pool splashes that grief back up through your soul, scorching, shoving you down, teeth bared, gleefully taking its next chunk.

What time does is make the splashes smaller, mostly. Until the pebble is a rock. Then, chaos. Grief doesn't give way to order. Grief gives way to knowledge. Grief imparts wisdom from that still pool that stays behind. Grief schools us on surviving loss, on the price of love, and on our blessed mortality.

I'm not quite cruel enough to say, “embrace the chaos”. You can't fully prepare for it. Everyone gets the chaos, there is no secret back path around it. You can expect it. However, walking around every day expecting grief is no way to live. Best when chaos hits to simply remember it. Remember, because you've encountered grief since you were born. Remember eventually it settles into a still pool. When it does, embrace the life you're living as well as you're able to in that moment until it's disturbed, again.

As a Deathworker and intimate partner with Chaos, perhaps you were hoping I'd have better advice, a faster fix. This is the best I've got because I too signed those contracts with the blood of incarnation - to love means to grieve later, to take a first breath means to exhale a last one. May we all love and live fully making those contracts worth our blood. Hail!

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A Prayer for Our Times

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 02:00:52 GMT

A prayer created by Reclaiming Pittsburgh during a dropped and open session.

Mycelial Messages

Blessings to those who tend the web,
Connecting and listening,
We are one, we are one.

Blessings to those who tend the web,
I am held and am holding.
We are one, we are one.

Share your gifts, they are needed.
Create new thriving pathways:
Necessity is the mother of intimacies.

Prepare.

Death flowers:
From Rot comes Life.
From Life, Rot.
Compost what no longer serves you.

Blessings to those who tend the web,
Connecting and listening,
We are one, we are one.

Blessings to those who tend the web,
I am held and am holding.
We are one, we are one.

After great chaos, regeneration.
After great chaos, rebirth.

Birth grief, nourish grief,
Slow down and start again.

Love all things,
Love is Life.
Love is Sacred.

Put your hands in soil,
Connect.
Pets, wildlife, the natural world,
Connect.
Know, find, learn,
Connect.

Blessings to us who tend the web,
Connecting and listening,
We are one, we are one.

Blessings to us who tend the web,
We are held, we are holding.
We are one, we are one.

Be one with us,
Be one with us,
We are one, we are one.
No distance too great,
We are held, we are holding.

The time is now.
All will be well,
Connecting and listening,
All manner of things shall be well.

This is how the work gets done.
Changing, shifting,
Ever moving–
Connecting with mycelium,

Blessings to us who weave the web,
Connecting and listening,
We are one, we are one.

Blessings to us who weave the web,
I am held, we are holding.
We are one, we are one.

~Reclaiming Pittsburgh community, created virtually during the pandemic March 2020

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We have a beach house! I named it "All Is Whelk"*!

Sat, 28 Dec 2019 17:03:54 GMT

And we're renting it out when we're not there. We'll be there soon for a couple of months, then back here again, then there, etc. It was always a dream that took most of a lifetime to come true, but YAY!!

It's on Hatteras Island, NC, one back semi-oceanfront with the sounds and sights of the sea. It's a relaxed uncrowded atmosphere on Hatteras, and the house is reasonably priced for rentals. Enjoy our house as much as we do, for far fewer dollars!

Book your stay here: https://bookshoredetails.escapia.com/Unit/Details/166423

What a view from one of the couches!

*Name is because Julian of Norwich and a quote that never fails: “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”

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Gratitude Project

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 14:21:28 GMT

I've decided to officially retire myself from the gratitude project. I find myself to be well blessed, extra lucky, and holding gratitude every day. This to me was the point of the project...to get to this place. A huge shout out to estaratshirai who began this project back in 2004. I've done it every year, but I dropped it partway through last year. 🤷‍♀️

I have a loving and supportive community around me (online and offline) including family, friends, and spiritual groups. I am blessed with not wondering how I'll pay the bills or if food will be on the table to eat. My chronic illnesses are generally stable. A lifelong dream of owning a house at the beach became a reality a few months ago. Life is good and full, and I am deeply grateful.

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Tarot: moon in Libra reading

Sat, 20 Apr 2019 12:49:13 GMT

From elf

Tarot layout: Moon in Libra reading

The topic of specialized readings came up on a Discord channel, so I made a layout for the full moon in Libra (that's today, technically in about 5 hours; the next day and a half or so are still considered "full moon" for magical workings).

1. The Past: What you leave behind
2. The Burden: What you still carry
3. The Link: Connects your past to your future
4. Hope: What you aspire to
5. The Balance: Call on this to avoid being overwhelmed
6. Fate: What lies before you
7. Plans: Your intentions and motives
8. Influence: Other people and forces in your life
9. The Gift: What you receive today

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Long time, no blog (originally published at Pagan Bloggers)

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 18:51:09 GMT

Recently I’ve been purging the heaps of things I’ve acquired over the decades as an uncommon lack of sentimental attachment has engulfed me. It’s a bit unnerving to watch myself unceremoniously pitch items I felt I had to keep just 6 months ago.

Con't at: http://paganbloggers.com/musingsfromthebone/2018/11/03/long-time-no-blog-a-personal-observation/

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Gratitude Project 2018 left unfinished

Sat, 03 Nov 2018 18:50:27 GMT

Nope, not this year. It just wasn't in me, for right or wrong.

Some days I was grateful for the little things. Other days I felt every damn thing could piss off. So, they did.

Not sorry.

I hope to be back at it next year.

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McCain is dead. R

Sun, 26 Aug 2018 14:01:11 GMT

Honestly, I can do the "R", but the "IP" has to wait until he does his afterlife work.

John McCain is dead. As stated before, I don't believe rose-coloured glasses for the dead serve anyone, least of all the dead. Let them do their work at the Roadhouse, let them see clearly their actions with all the hubris associated with some of them and all the glory with some others and the big mess in between those two.

Human beings are complex. Forgetting that in death is how our whitewashed history gets written.

McCain was a POW, yes, but that wasn't the only thing he was, even though that experience drove most of his political decisions. He was a politician first and foremost, all about the PR opportunity, and willing to butter his bread on both sides without blushing.

Sarah Palin. Gorsuch. Iraq war supporter long after it showed failure. Voting in T*ump policies that hurt many citizens even after he knew he was dying and showing that support 83% of the time. Sure he killed the ACA bill after he knew he was dying and found compassion. Then he helped vote in T*ump's tax bill that killed the individual mandate of the ACA. He consistently voted and acted with his future legacy in mind.

Which McCain will be remembered?

War hero or politician more concerned for how history would paint him than the plight of the citizens he claimed to serve?

We know which one. You betcha.

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Gratitude Project, Days 24, 25, 26

Sun, 26 Aug 2018 13:58:22 GMT

Friday - shopping and chilling with a friend
Saturday - Summer ritual with Reclaiming Pittsburgh! Picnic as ritual - oh yes. Food, laughter, and good conversation.
Sunday - crossing tasks off of my list. Pssstt... this is one of them. ;)

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Gratitude Project, Days 20, 21, 22, 23

Thu, 23 Aug 2018 15:58:49 GMT

Monday the 20th - pretty almost fall skies
Tuesday the 21st - personalized ritual that's useful
Wednesday the 22nd - for the grandboy getting all moved in
Thursday the 23rd - for waking up rested

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Gratitude Project, Days 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Mon, 20 Aug 2018 02:35:12 GMT

Wow... I've been slacking big time.

13 - For folks willing to look at their impact and hold themselves accountable
14 - for Birthday Coven fun with Juniper (her birthday, not mine)
15 - for good doctors
16 - for not permanently damaging relationships when I felt like ripping heads off
17 - for meeting up with BK and getting to listen, and to talk
18 - for a good and focused book discusion
19 - for the GrandBoy, 19 on the 19th, and a birthday/farewell dinner and as he leaves for college 13 hours away, he leaves tomorrow

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Gratitude Project, Days 9, 10, 11, 12

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 00:47:08 GMT

Day 9 - For Zoom tech and much laughter.

Day 10 - Being useful to a friend.

Day 11 - For Mambo Nelly.

Day 12 - for friends willing to help me get I need. <3

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Gratitude Project, Day 8

Thu, 09 Aug 2018 03:00:18 GMT

This happened 2 days ago and I'm still in gratitude for it. :D

GrandBoy's admission was approved to Northern Michigan University. His major is Medicinal Plant Chemistry.

I'm so chuffed for him. <3

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Gratitude Project, Days 4, 5, 6, 7

Tue, 07 Aug 2018 13:59:57 GMT

Uuummm... yeah, catching up!

4th - For the honour and pleasure of initiating someone into our tradition.

5th - For slow mornings drinking coffee on a lovely porch.

6th - For the rare kindness of a corporation.

7th - For remembering my mum, born this date in 1931, gone for almost a dozen years.

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Gratitude Project 2018, Day 2 & 3

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 15:53:41 GMT

Yesterday I was grateful for easy access to cigarettes. Today I'm grateful for an inhaler. :p

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Rarely here BUT Gratitude Project 2018, Day 1

Wed, 01 Aug 2018 16:45:16 GMT

Ground rules: The gratitude project is one post per day about something for which you are truly grateful and it runs from Lammas to Mabon. It can be a big or little gratitude, but no repeats – you can be grateful for your spouse/kids/job/friends, but the reason for the gratitude needs to be different for each entry. This project was started by estaratshirai . I have been doing it since its inception in 2004.

Hhmmmm ... I'm grateful for the ease and stretch of time in my everyday life.

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Bees and Reclaiming Pittsburgh

Sun, 30 Jul 2017 21:33:47 GMT

Honey bees, the ones who have doing community correctly down pat. They all have their jobs, they all do their jobs, and in so doing they support each other and the community. They care for and feed their queen. The queen is the center of the community and with care and food this center supports, maintains, and allows the hive to expand. This system also produces more queens! Whatever is at the center of community is fed and cared for so it will remain viable and useful. What would you like to be the center of Reclaiming Pittsburgh? How can we feed our community so it grows and thrives?

Join us for "Back to the Hive: Reclaiming Pittsburgh Community Meeting" on Saturday, October 21st, 2017, at 2011 Noble St, Pittsburgh, PA, 15218-2100.

Back to the Hive: Reclaiming Pittsburgh's Annual Ritual Community Meeting

What do we mean by ritual community meeting? We will be doing the sacred work of planning and decision making for the November 1, 2017 - October 31, 2018 cycle. We will be casting, calling in the elements, doing trance, raising energy, etc. while making consensus decisions for the future of the Reclaiming Pittsburgh community.

Do you have a proposal for the Reclaiming Pittsburgh Community for the November 1, 2017 - October 31, 2018 cycle? Is there a process, type of work, or discussion that you would like to see manifested? Please send your proposals or discussion topics to Amoret BriarRose at amoret@amoretbriarrose.com by October 7, 2017.

Witchy/magical attire encouraged!

**Parking at the location. If you're approaching 2011 Noble St and the building is on your left, continue 1/2 block to Center St. and turn right. Go another 1/2 block and a parking lot is on your left.

If the location is on your right as you proceed on Noble St, then you will turn left on Center St. 1/2 block prior to reaching the building.

The lot is metered, but never checked according to our event hostess.

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Fifth Trinity Church Revival

Thu, 01 Dec 2016 03:38:26 GMT

elf posting in fifthtrinity

(not actually a crosspost)

Update Notes: (1) fifthtrinity at Dreamwidth now exists; I've ported the entries here over to there, and I'll be updating there, (by which I mean here) not here (by which I mean over there at LJ), in the future.

(2) I'm restarting the process of getting legal recognition for Fifth Trinity Church. Have decided to do this the hard way - with a legal incorporation - instead of the minimal way, which is "when you declare you have a chuch, *poof* you have a church, until someone challenges your tax status and then you might have to play paperwork games." I'm getting the paperwork games out of the way up front.

Continued at link.

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Reblog from elf

Wed, 02 Sep 2015 21:09:01 GMT

"Assistant" means "female," right?

All four of the major "digital assistant" programs--Siri, Cortana, Alexa, and Google Now--have female voices. Google Now used to have a male British voice, but a while back, it switched to an American female, with no option to return. They want you to think of the programs as a person--and that hypothetical person is female.

Because when you're giving orders to an automaton that has no choice but to follow them to the best of its ability, it should code as female, right? Wouldn't want people thinking a baritone-voice Brooklyn accent would carry out your commands all day. Wouldn't want people giving commands to what sounds like a man who works as a California newscaster--myghods, they might get into the habit of giving orders to anyone who sounds like that!

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Reblog - Restructuring the wage gap argument - Yup

Mon, 03 Aug 2015 03:35:59 GMT

From elf

Entry tags:<input ... >

kyriarchy

Wage Gaps, Reconsidered

One of the comments in The Thread (and that's how I'll be thinking of it for a while) mentioned the possibility of rethinking the wage gap: "how different they would look if the lowest paid workers (Latinas in this case) were $1.00 and everyone else was marked as overpaid."

Source: The Wage Gap, by Gender and Race
Find median annual earnings of black men and women, Hispanic* men and women, and white women as a percentage of white men's median annual earnings
Year: 2013
White men: 1.00
Black men: 0.751
Hispanic men: 0.672
White women: 0.78
Black women: 0.64
Hispanic women: 0.54

*Their word, not mine.

Rephrase:
Median annual earnings of white men and women, black men and women, and Hispanic men as a percentage of Hispanic women's median annual earnings:
Hispanic women: 1.00
Black women: 1.185
White women: 1.444
Hispanic men: 1.244
Black men: 1.391
White men: 1.852

The proper phrasing isn't "Latina women make just over half what white men make." It's "White men get paid almost double what Latina women get paid." Followed by, "What are they doing for your company that's worth 185% of the money you'd pay a Latina woman for the same job? Are your shareholders aware that you're paying white men more than you pay other demographics of employees--are they happy that you're wasting money like this? Especially considering that they're over-represented in the high-income tiers?"

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Pagans in Solidarity

Fri, 05 Dec 2014 00:08:57 GMT

We at Bone and Briar stand in solidarity with our brothers and sisters of colour during this time of horrid behaviour by people in authority. We grieve with Mike Brown’s family and the family of Eric Garner. We grieve with the family of Tamir Rice. Mostly we grieve our nation falling short again and again when it comes to equality.

We are white and we know the privilege we possess because of that. We work to mitigate the effects of that privilege in our daily lives. We also speak up and speak out – in our families, in our neighborhoods, and in our community. We show up and we ask all of our Reclaiming/Feri kith and kin to do the same. Pagans of Colour have a difficult struggle in our own communities, when in the company of their co-religionists, which is the last place that they should struggle so. Out in the world they face the same racism and the same fears of harm and death experienced by all people of colour for the crime of Walking While Not being White.

We at Bone and Briar ask all of our Pagan communities to stand with Pagans and non-Pagans of colour in support of their voices. We ask that you use your voice to post to your communities. We ask that you attend the protests occurring across our nation, carry signs, get the word out to your neighbors, and take your place at the edges of the protest if you are white. We ask that you stand in silent solidarity at these protests except when asked to join in chants. We ask when you are in community with PoC to allow their voices to be heard. Let’s face it, our white voices are heard all over this country every single day. If a news crew steps up to you for an interview, step out of the way and let your black and brown sisters and brothers speak. It’s been their turn to speak for a long time now.

We will be supporting this cause here in Pittsburgh. We call on you to join us in your home communities.

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Small Business Saturday, Mumblesomething Sunday, Cyber Monday

Sun, 30 Nov 2014 16:07:38 GMT

Click here for my Etsy Shop: Essentials by PJ

**~~~Two discounts for you!~~~**

This one is still going on! LIMITED TIME OFFER - $5 off purchases of $24.99 and up until DEC 15, 2014. Use coupon code 5DOLLARDISC at checkout. Time to stock up for the holidays!

~~~AND~~~ Mention you saw this post on Facebook/Wordpress/Dreamwidth/Livejournal in the message area of your checkout screen and I will give you an additional 10% back to you as a refund!!

*****PLUS***** If you have seen this on Facebook/Wordpress/Dreamwidth/Livejournal and mention it in the message area, you can still get the 10% refund EVEN IF you don't spend enough for the $5 discount! How cool is that?? SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS! They can get it, too! The 10% REFUND is good THRU MIDNIGHT EST MONDAY DEC. 1st!

NEW! Knitted pouches! Runes, tarot cards, jewelry, prayer beads! On Sale!

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How to begin to change your body when exercise does nothing

Mon, 30 Jun 2014 23:03:55 GMT

Whine about no results on your blog. Two days later see noticeable results. Will implement this High Magic™ for other useful things. :-D

(And continue the walking, 10 miles/week.)

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Walking in the park

Sat, 28 Jun 2014 15:05:50 GMT

This area of the country has blessed us with an extra large dose of humidity even here and especially for June. I started walking right at the end of May. I chose a flat route since walking in the past has been thwarted by hills. Correction. Motivation for consistently walking has been thwarted by hills. The humidity is trying to hard to replace the hills in thwarting power, but I'm drowning it in the buckets of sweat it produces. I was walking 6 miles a week. I feel better. However, another piece of walking was that I wanted to change the shape of my body. I have loved myself enough in this shape and I want my older version back. I'll accept the gravity effects of age (as if I had a choice, bless you gravity for not letting me fly off into eternal space), but the fat can bugger off. I was hoping after a month the scale would budge even a little (okay, I wanted a LOT), but as the weeks went on with no change I settled for "a little" telling myself all along that the numbers my stay the same, but my clothes will fit differently. Yet that has not occurred, either. Even with smaller food portions. Even with appropriate sleep. No wonder people get discouraged. :/

So I had choices. I could stop wasting time walking as it isn't doing squat for the body goals I have. I could lower my expectations. Or I could change what I was doing. The first one (though enticing) would eliminate what is making me feel better, plus it is summer and walking in the park is lovely. The second choice, while perhaps reasonable and a nice trick for my brain, will only sap away motivation as things remain the same. So I opted for the last choice. So this week instead of 6 miles I walked 10 miles.

We shall see.

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You know how you want to like a blog post and then you hate it? Yeah this one.

Sat, 21 Jun 2014 19:38:52 GMT

TAKE BACK THE WORD BEAUTIFUL. Oops, nope, sorry you can't. Let us instead cave to Madison Ave's definition and use other words because ... um, because a guy said we should. I've read plenty of pro-women posts by men, but this is not one of them. First, he pretends to speak about all the humans, but when he gives examples of beauty and why the word beautiful should go away along with the phrase "everyone is beautiful" he defaults to only speaking about women. And he starts it early. And he gets to decide that blemishes, warts, or hair loss automatically put you in the "not beautiful" category. Because he said so. I bet he calls himself a feminist. I bet he considers his worldview to be global. Neither is true. Men who are feminists or allies of feminists don't tell women which words and phrases they should embrace and why. And they research their articles better. He mentions American Apparel's no photoshop marketing, but when he sarcastically (this part he got right) mentions the diversity in the Dove's real women campaign he fails to mention that Dove's RW photo has been "shopped".

His viewpoint is not only very Euro-centric in his definitions of beauty and why we should stop saying everyone is so, but there is an extra dose of USA centricity in there just for fun. He uses the word "world" in reference to why we should not find beauty in everyone when he only means USA based* on his examples. You know, like World Series, except it is not. And then he tells us we should just chuck our fight against it**, give in, accept that Madison Ave and the USA culture has won, we've lost, and pick some other phrase from a set he's deemed way more better. Thanks, maaaaaan. So happy to find you know what's best for the world based on your privileged US-centric view.

*gag* Enough already. Monitor your gender's feel good phrases, not everyone else's.

The post is here.

*But the fact is, we don’t own the word. The world owns the word, and to the world, “beauty” is physical attractiveness and nothing more.
**So what can we do to overthrow the system once and for all?....Honestly, nothing. You and I can’t take on corporations and multibillion-dollar industries on our own.<----Oooooo, solidarity!

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Infinitesimal Significance (two big words spelled correctly)

Grief is Chaos

A Prayer for Our Times

We have a beach house! I named it "All Is Whelk"*!

Gratitude Project

Tarot: moon in Libra reading

Tarot layout: Moon in Libra reading

Long time, no blog (originally published at Pagan Bloggers)

Gratitude Project 2018 left unfinished

McCain is dead. R

Gratitude Project, Days 24, 25, 26

Gratitude Project, Days 20, 21, 22, 23

Gratitude Project, Days 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Gratitude Project, Days 9, 10, 11, 12

Gratitude Project, Day 8

Gratitude Project, Days 4, 5, 6, 7

Gratitude Project 2018, Day 2 & 3

Rarely here BUT Gratitude Project 2018, Day 1

Bees and Reclaiming Pittsburgh

Fifth Trinity Church Revival

Gettin' The Band Back Together

Reblog from elf

"Assistant" means "female," right?

Reblog - Restructuring the wage gap argument - Yup

Wage Gaps, Reconsidered

Pagans in Solidarity

Small Business Saturday, Mumblesomething Sunday, Cyber Monday

Click here for my Etsy Shop: Essentials by PJ

~*~*~Two discounts for you!~*~*~

NEW! Knitted pouches! Runes, tarot cards, jewelry, prayer beads! On Sale!

How to begin to change your body when exercise does nothing

Walking in the park

You know how you want to like a blog post and then you hate it? Yeah this one.

**~~~Two discounts for you!~~~**