I love the whole world.. no place I'd rather be..

an update

2013-04-26T00:04:21Z

After what I suspect was over a year of depression and anxiety issues, I have finally gotten help.

And here come the next hurdles of reminding myself everyday that I deserve such help, but it's getting easier everyday to believe it. I have both therapy and medicine bringing my brain into a nice balance and the right synapses are firing.

I'm around the right people again.

I can focus on creating again.

And I'm thinking of going into medicine.

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in which wfwdad* gets major geek points in my book

2011-12-26T23:16:18Z

Have spent most of the time fiddling with this new iPad finding free books to download, including Bronte and Austen novels that I have read over and over. Maybe 2012 will be the year I *finally* read something by Dickens, given that I finally found out there an underlying theme in his writing of the socio-economic conditions of Victorian England.

http://www.openculture.com/2011/12/fill_your_new_kindle_ipad_iphone_with_free_ebooks_movies_audio_books_courses_more.html

which means I'll probably be plundering this site.

any apps you'd like to recommend? I'm always looking for new Shiny Things, including that app that Xeni from BoingBoing showed off for Rachel back when the iPad first came out (which I'd really like to find.

*in case you're not familiar with the shortened terms, that's my biological dad I'm referring to, the 'wfw' referring to my favorite twitter handle from ages ago. it just stuck in my brain.

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Still Here, just quieter than usual

2011-12-03T20:26:24Z

That Awkward Moment when you haven't posted a new journal entry in over a month.

November was a Huge Mess. After several minor break-downs slash panic attacks, I finally set up a regular schedule of appointments at my uni Counseling Center. It's very draining, with appointments usually being followed with three or two hour naps, headaches, and a need to just Not Do Anything.

Feeling rather guilty for being missing-in-fandom-action, so will slowly start to revisit the WIP folder. and well, muses are starting to prod at me.

How have you been, list? Drop a note, if you'd like. ♥

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[If you'll be my star/ I'll be your sky]

2011-10-29T16:36:55Z

I have finally found a non-Starbucks coffee/tea shop that I feel comfortable sitting in for hours, with or without company. They have cute mugs with different kinds of cocoa (spicy, rather sweet, with/without whipped cream), the best kind of cookie I have ever tasted (s'more!). It's a good place to sketch, think, knit (squishy couches and chairs!) and best of all, it's not too far from campus.

Making it a ritual to end a week of classes with a cup of cocoa/tea there, then a stop at one of the two branches of the city library. I'll get plenty of rows knit this way, I think.

And on another somewhat related note, I have a good feeling that I'll be returning to this post at least once a week for awhile, and when I get into a nasty rut I'll shove myself toward this part of the Internets.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

This is now part of the slowly growing lists of 'Distracting Things to Do and Read and Make when Tea needs to be distracted.'

And One more thing: Three Days Until NaNoWriMo! and I have the seeds of an idea. And I think it's going in either a SciFi/Fantasy route or I'll be reattempting/twisting the Commune idea. those characters are chattering quite a bit.

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willwrite_fortea @ 2011-10-17T23:09:00

2011-10-18T03:28:02Z

Meme I just ganked from lilalanor and bessemerprocess because I could use the mental distraction.

- YOU: comment to this post with a TV show concept. (Science fiction show, medical drama, criminal procedure, etc...) Be as detailed as you like.
- I: will create a cast of characters, including the actors who'd play them, and add in any actor photos, character bios and show synopsis that I like.

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I can't be mad at this puppy

2011-10-08T01:04:55Z

He was born two days before my 21st birthday. Even after chewing on my mouse, knitting project, and bottle of acne medicine. I just can't.

It just hits me how much of a baby he still is, if that makes it less irrational? Oh yeah, I'm still correcting him and attempting to teach commands, but yeah.

In not-puppy news, it is all shirozora's fault that I'm attempting to draw Keith in an Iron Man costume, smirking/flirting with a Captain America costumed!Anderson. and writing Steve/Tony in my head.

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He's the most adorable little brat of a puppy ever

2011-09-24T14:50:07Z

He's very attached to wfwmom, loves to chew on every shoe he can get his teeth in, is learning slowly NOT to use the floors of the house as a bathroom, and demands cuddles no matter what you are doing at the moment.

And I swear he's getting bigger by the week.

EDIT: and twitpic is being a prick. you have been spared from puppy picture spamming

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In which I'm now a dog AND cat person. for the moment.

2011-09-11T18:58:19Z

Stepdad has this tradition of getting a new golden retriever when one dies, because he keeps them in twos and likes them to keep each other company. I have no beef with this, they're usually sweet dogs.

so imagine my surprise when he shows me this puppy and one just like it and says 'we'll be getting this kind of dog, if the application goes through.'

and then to have the immediate reaction of 'I thought I was a cat person, now I *really* want this puppy.'

the name 'Quasar' may have to go though.

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Have a babbly post about how my first week of classes went

2011-08-30T03:34:51Z

Throwing myself back into art classes is the best academic decision I've made yet.

I love talking political science and gender theory and all the gaps and -isms and history of All The Things, don't get me wrong, but it's really nice to let my creative urges out to play on a giant piece of paper and NOT worry about what it looks like, only how it feels.

Had a big stupid grin on my face for the whole hour and a half that my art professor gave various techniques (draw with both hands, now eyes off the paper, now with your non-dominant hand, don't be scared of letting negative space cross into positive space, and on), and I *loved* it all

it made me want to paint and get charcoal all over my face and when it was all over, and time to pack up, it *hurt* to have to leave. makes me wonder why I ever did leave.

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This feels like the post equivalent to an X-files Monster-of-the-Week

2011-08-14T21:33:07Z

I seem to swinging wildly from "what the fuck am I doing?" to "I know exactly what I want to do."

both are alright as long as I can eventually think it through. Both prompt me to pursue researching, endlessly learning things. Which is good if I want to write, right?

you get all the brownie points if you understand this post.

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I think I need a new town/to leave this all behind/I think I need a sunrise/I'm tired of the sunset

2011-08-10T00:56:34Z

have started the John Adams HBO miniseries, due to much fangirling and discussion of early US history on twitter, specifically the Founders. and after about 20 minutes in, I loved Abigail and John and their dynamic, I can only imagine how much I'll be flailing happily when Jefferson shows up

also am slowly getting into two scifi shows, Alphas and Sanctuary.

the former is still very new. (really the young woman who can bend wills to her own? squicks me more than a little, but Dr. Rosen and Gary keep me coming back) I want to think the writers will do it well, and treat the issues on hand with thoughtfulness, but it's difficult to get one's hopes up. I hesitate to comment further.

the latter? something keeps interrupting me from watching more than the first 10 min of *one* episodes. sod off universe, I need the distraction from harmful trains of thought.

gladly taking cheering/distracting things in comments, if you have them ♥

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willwrite_fortea @ 2011-08-03T01:11:00

2011-08-03T05:15:59Z

Once upon a time, a man climbed to the top of the tallest mountain and found the closest star. He asked the star why it had come so close when the view was better from higher up. The star told him about gods who lived high up, and how they had lost sight of what it meant to live.
( Read more... )

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[Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight/Now I'm here, suddenly I see]

2011-08-02T19:44:25Z

Resisting the urge to watch Tangled for the third time in less than 2 days, but goodness is it a gorgeous movie. why did I wait so long to watch it? let's just say I have a knack for not seeing new movies for a year or three.

so I am eyeing my Princess Rachel and Knight Keith universe and thinking of tackling it, though thankfully there will be no singing because, yeah, I have a hard time picturing Keith singing anywhere, let alone a romantic ballad. or Rachel.

But, maybe if I brought in Stephen..

(if you haven't read this universe, it's all under this tag )

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bite-size update

2011-07-31T20:37:43Z

I seem to possess the ability to fixate on old works-in-progress that I'm sure no one is interested in reading, while prompts left for me recently lay ignored in some corner of my brain.

also I need to not fixate on twitter trends. bad for my health.

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Woes of being a transfer student and other tales

2011-07-21T05:28:53Z

There are a few days I loathe choosing current events/policy/politics as a main focus of study (political science being the major) so early. I hate not knowing if it's really what I want. There's still a part of me that wants an any-and-all-subjects major, because really? History, language, literature, botany, geology, theology (an atheist who likes to study religions, how silly), gender studies, physics etc etc are things that make my brain spark in the best ways.

Thinking of contenting myself with a library of books on anything-and-everything, or a very well-used library card. because the American university system sucks in many ways.

In other news? I am writing again. slowly, but still. writing. ~~in between marathons of Breaking Bad~~

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so I'm rereading a certain series (or two)

2011-07-19T18:45:21Z

Is it weird I like listening to the Harry Potter books more than reading them?

There are actually several series I've read over and over I prefer listening to than reading quietly. Something about the magic of having someone read a good story out-loud makes it more enjoyable, especially if the author gives voices to the memorable characters that match up with that particular character (ex: a high, cold tone for the villain, a booming voice for giants and tall characters).

It doesn't hurt that it helps me keep my hands busy, I have a pair that tends to fidget, tug hair until it hurts, etc. So while someone weaves a story and breathes life to wonderful words, I can clean, sketch, brew tea, bake, etc.

I'd like to hear from you, my circle, on the subject of audiobooks. or tell me about your favorite memories of discovering a book series on your own or from someone reading it to you?

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All's quiet on the fandom front

2011-07-11T23:28:31Z

This is a mix between a 'please leave a prompt or remind me if you still are waiting/would like to see something written' post and a 'sneak peek into several Works In Progress' post because really I need a good kick in the rear to write.

( (In which Rachel runs into the Doctor, Doctor Who/Pundit RPF) )

( (the universe in which Anderson is grim reaper, so far loosely based on Dead Like Me) )

( (AU in which the kids are superheroes, Pundit RPF) )

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short rage post

2011-07-05T03:07:41Z

This is the part of summer where I *really* hate being female-bodied. Really really really hate it. And that's not including the cat-calls and stares and creepers when I decide to show bare arms & wear a tanktop. Heaven-fucking forbid the world knows I'm a DD. just one of the perks of not being a girl, as my brain is happy to point out when I'm sweltering under a t-shirt & bra.

And people wonder why I'm the person in the group without a tan at summer's end.

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willwrite_fortea @ 2011-05-26T21:39:00

2011-05-27T01:49:55Z

I am seriously considering something drastic, like moving far far away and not telling my parents where I'm going for a couple reasons.

( cut for a rant about home issues and the efforts of finding work )

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fuck you world. FUCK YOU.

2011-01-22T05:29:35Z

Goddamnit Keith, I hope you say something soon on twitter because a short burst of a send-off without pre-warning is just a fucking- ARGHHH

I'm more angry than sad, but the sad of 'I don't have Oddball to bring Sportscenter catchphrases and stupid puns' to look forward to after a long day of whatever way that day was filled? that sad will come later I think.

fuck. fuck. FUCK.

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first week of spring semester assessment: B-

2011-01-16T21:19:05Z

so a couple things happened last week that surprised me, in both pleasant and unpleasant ways

first, I have no laptop. only by the niceness of my mom am I able to keep typing things (when she isn't compulsively checking the weather on this netbook). I left it on top of my car and drove off like the tired dumbass I was. :face palm: so goodbye nice Macbook that lasted me about 5-6 years. the likely event is that I will get a new one for a birthday 6ish months away (unlikely, I get a job and can buy one, but crummy economy, virtually no experience, yadda yadda etc)

( better news after the cut )

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willwrite_fortea @ 2010-11-15T20:44:00

2010-11-16T01:53:28Z

I think I'll take a quick break from fandom to rant about something

EDIT below

( cut for trigger words/triggers )

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to counter Rod Stewart

2010-10-22T01:40:33Z

Now that I have your attention..
oh goodness just click where the cut is :D

( There be sexy in these journal waters )

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first thoughts on the NAFC in DC

2010-08-07T01:55:31Z

so as you may have seen on my twitter, I traveled to Washington for the clinic put on by NAFC (National Association of Free Clinics)

My day started at 6am at the hotel and didn't end until the last patient had been seen and had left at around 11pm that night. I don't really have any profound insights only a few thoughts.

( cut for length )

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something I needed off my chest

2010-07-05T00:15:20Z

This is what happens when a holiday rolls around & my dad + brother call, then I remember I'm missing someone from the celebrations. won't make you read my thought process when I realize this.

( rambly grief stuff ahead )

Maybe I'll go write something. or cuddle Iris

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