BuffyWorld

orchidluv's Nothing the Same: After Jesse's death, Xander feels lost and alone. Breaking his ties with Willow, he goes searching to learn just what vampires are. After Dru's death, Spike is searching too, although he doesn't realize it yet. This fic follows how Xander and Spike's relationship change the first five seasons.

Nothing the Same, Book 1
Nothing the Same, Book 2
Nothing the Same, Book 3
Nothing the Same, Book 4

He’d finished filling in the small hole and was carefully folding the sod back over it when he was interrupted.

…

“What’s it like to be a vampire?” Xander asked sincerely, casually edging towards the shovel he’d left resting against the bench. Just in case.

Astonishment looked weird on a vampire’s face. “What’s it like?”

“Yeah. You know, what do you do when you’re not actually killing people? I mean, do you hang out with other vampires, watch movies, or do you do demony things that humans don’t know about?

“This isn’t a date, moron. We don’t do small talk before I eat you.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “Please, do I look like I dressed for a date? Believe me, you are so not my type. I just want to know what vampires are like. So,” he gestured hopefully, “anything you feel like sharing is good.”

“What are you - some kind of freaky Oprah fan?”

“Nah, hate daytime talk shows. Give me a good sci-fi show or something with explosions any day.”

“Well, explosions yeah, but not that geeky sci-fi crap. Oh, god, you’re a Trekkie, aren’t you? I should eat you just for that.”

“Not me, Aliens and Babylon 5 are more my thing. So, you watch tv a lot?” Xander brought the conversation back to the vampire.

“Well,” the vampire said defensively, “sometimes. The days get long cooped up inside, waiting for sunset.”

“I can imagine,” Xander agreed sympathetically. “So, do you have friends among the other vampires?”

“And again with the encounter group. You know, I’ve changed my mind. You are too weird to eat. I’m gonna find someone who’ll scream and try to run like a proper meal. I don’t like a lot of talking while I feed.”

Xander watched in disbelief as the vampire moved off, shaking his head and muttering about how weird humans were getting these days. “Hey!” he yelled at the retreating back, feeling vaguely insulted. He sighed and leaned down to pick up his shovel, “I don’t want to hear it,” he muttered to the small grave. “You sure were willing to talk about what it’s like - ‘worms in the earth’, man? Way to sell people on how good it is.”

He hesitated, almost as if he thought there’d be an answer, then shook his head sharply, dispelling the idea. “See you, man,” he said quietly and winced at the silence that was the only response. “Later, dude,” he whispered Jesse’s signature farewell to himself and walked away.