[sticky entry] Sticky: Intro

Jun. 23rd, 2023 08:09 pm
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# OF UNFINISHED WIPS: 70

"IF YOUR FANDOM CAN BE 'DESTROYED' BY SMUT... THEN CALL ME THE FUCKING TERMINATOR." -ancient fandom proverb



Just a silly little guy writing some silly little stories. Mostly deranged ranting, though.

29-year-old hobbyist writer. Very multi-fandom. Most of my work is for the Mandela Catalogue fandom, which is where I got my start writing fanfic for a public audience.

As well as fanfiction, I'm also working on a series of original "web novels" that I plan to host... somewhere. It will most likely be posted here, on Neocities, and on AO3. It's been a long time in the making and I can't give any sort of ETA as to when I'll start posting it, but I'll be sure to make an announcement and edit this post when I have news to share!

My journal is where I'll be writing about all sorts of stuff, like talking about books I've recently read, or fanfics that I just can't stop thinking about. I don't do that "rate and review" shit with those, I just gush about what I liked about it. I want to be able to promote fanfic authors who have left a positive impression on me and who inspire my own works.

I also use this to give general updates about what I'm up to on the writing front.

I know my Neocities needs an update, but I am no longer active on Twitter or Bluesky. I've reduced my reliance on Tumblr in favor of Dreamwidth, but you can still reach me there for the time being.

Below are the links to other sites you can find me. Please be warned that even though this pinned post is public, most of my work is 18+/NSFW. Posts on Dreamwidth will be marked as such, but you are responsible for any outbound links that you click.

The comment section of this journal entry is my preferred method of anonymous contact and messaging, but I also have a Strawpage if you so prefer. If you have something to send me there, I'll make it a point to post my responses here (on Dreamwidth) from here on out.

AO3 | Strawpage

Current projects/tasks:

> Mass crosspost project
> Love Me Harder (32 chapters of 51 complete)
> Smash Bros. crackship fic (fanfic of a fanfic!)
> finish reading The Priory of the Orange Tree (Samantha Shannon)
> Warriors read & review challenge (will start after finishing current book I'm reading)
> analysis and gushing over a fic I've read recently that I've been meaning to write a glowing review for
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To the loser-ass Karen who left a card in my window today while I was at work to complain about my “seriously terrible parking”:

I am so, so, so very sorry that my right-side wheels being an inch and a half on top of the white line–not over the white line, not encroaching into the next space, ON the line–bothered you so much that you took time out of your day to leave one of your stupid and pretentious little cards in my driver side window.

Read more )
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Because I hate myself, I'm planning on reading and reviewing the entire Warriors series from start to finish, with a particular read order I put together a long time ago. I don't know exactly what logic I was using at the time to put together the read order, but I think it was meant to be chronological while keeping spoilers in mind. 

Expand reading list )
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A New Memory
Summary: Can Xenoroids catch feelings?

Fandom: MapleStory | Relationship: Beryl/Xenon
Rating: G | Warnings: None | Category: F/M | +Tags: Secret Relationship

Word Count: 100 | Original Post Date: 2023-04-05


How long had he lived confined in this laboratory?

Xenon wondered if this is what his entire life had been like since before he lost his memories. Tested by Gelimer every day as a weapon of war, yet he enjoyed Beryl’s company in secret. She was supposed to be the scientist’s assistant, but something drew her closer to the pitiful, confused cyborg.

Gelimer couldn’t know. They would both be turned to scrap.

Xenon didn’t know anything beyond tests and experiments and what he felt for Beryl was beyond him, but he welcomed the change from his life of endless battle.
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Defiance takes many forms. Mine just happens to be existing loudly.

Read more... )

4/24/2025

Apr. 24th, 2025 07:40 am
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Setting up a few goals (hobby-wise, anyway; I don't have anything particularly pressing to do today except for work and class, but I don't need a reminder for those) for the day to get done. ADHD has been in full swing recently, which means a lot of sitting in my chair staring at a wall for hours.
  • MapleStory daily stuff, but this time WITHOUT getting caught up in it for several hours. Log in, do the daily task, get out.
  • Add another 500 words to a draft, maybe. Even with writer's block, 500 words doesn't sound too unreasonable to manage.
  • Read at least one chapter of that thick-ass book I just checked out from the library (The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon)
  • Get through at least another 10% of the SMG4 channel

After this I get a four-day weekend. It's bittersweet because I need the hours and the money, but at least I can use it to get some housework done if my back isn't too trashed from doing Judo.

Update 1: Did the MapleStory daily task before leaving for work so I would have to get off the game. Now I won't be tempted to get back on it later (:

Update 2: Well, the plan to watch more SMG4 didn't exactly pan out, but I got everything else that I really wanted to do done so that's something. I can get a few videos in before bed at least.

4/23/2025

Apr. 23rd, 2025 03:03 pm
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 Hey all, been wanting to get back into using Dreamwidth semi-regularly since Tumblr looks worse and worse every day. I've generally been using Dreamwidth for major updates, the occasional AO3 crosspost, and whenever I have some kind of long-winded rant, but I'll probably use this as a journal or blog too since it's safer than Tumblr. At least we don't have to worry about getting randomly nuked here... Way too many anti-censorship blogs over on Tumblr getting randomly nuked. Even the SFW ones. Lovely.

I'm still going to be on Tumblr until the site burns down, but the problem is that I EXPECT it to eventually burn down, or at least become completely unusable. But you can maybe expect more of me here, on AO3 and Aethy, and on Neocities. If I ever finish updating that mess...

As for where I've been and the status of my writing: Nothing has been discontinued! I'm just suffering from really bad burnout and writer's block, but I promise I'm still opening up Ellipsus now and then to chip away at some of my projects. I recently re-organized my WIP to-do list, and I have a whopping 55 WIPs all going at the same time, across twelve fandoms. That's a lot of work for me to do once I'm off hiatus!

To reiterate: This hiatus has been entirely due to burnout, writer's block, and a preoccupation with other hobbies and interests. In the past I've had to take extended breaks due to health, but thankfully that's not the case this time. My health's been getting better over time since receiving better medical care, so if anyone was worried that I've been sick: I've had my off days as you tend to do when you have chronic illness, but otherwise things have been fine on that front as of late.

Lately I've gotten back into MapleStory which is time-consuming in its own right, and my jackass friends have gotten me into SMG4, which I am now trying to marathon. I'm almost 30% of the way through the entire channel. (':

Finally, as for Love Me Harder not receiving an update in over four months: I feel a bit guilty about this, because the next few chapters of it aren't going to be smut. So I've been trying to get the rough drafts of the next several chapters done as well before I start uploading again. At the same time, I have a shorter multi-chapter smut story I've been working on at the same time to try to make up for the lack of CesMark sex in LMH as of late.

All in all, please bear with me! I am nearly 30 years old (turning 29 this year, god fucking damn) and juggling work, martial arts responsibilities (once you've been at it for almost 20 years and start reaching those higher black belt ranks, you gotta start contributing something back into your school), health maintenance, housework, and other hobbies. But I promise I have not given up on anything you may eagerly be waiting for an update to. (:
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 I would say this is an unpopular opinion but I think it's more like an opinion that most people haven't formed because these two topics rarely overlap in discussion, if at all.

But I think it's important to acknowledge that in the pro-fiction mindset of protecting all fiction involving fictional characters (and then some, obviously, considering the existence of historical fiction), this also means giving the nod to the right to create any original characters you want.

This means that pro-fiction inherently includes creating characters based on a closed species (without going through the normal channels of obtaining "permission"), or the creation of "offbrands". Since this is a topic that I've noticed is very niche in pro-ship and pro-fiction circles, here's a brief description of these things if you aren't familiar with them.

A "closed species" is an original species created by someone with the purpose of building a "community" around them. They are non-existent creatures with a general set of traits intended to give them their own identifiable appearance. This species being "closed" means that random people do not have "permission" to make one themselves; they must either purchase or earn/win a design from an official artist in the community, or purchase or earn/win a "slot" to create one.

An "offbrand" is a fictional species created for the purpose of looking similar to a specific closed species, but does not share the same name and is more often than not made readily available for others to use freely.

I'll probably do a longer explanation on the thought process behind these things when I write a journal about what constitutes pro-fiction and the hypocrisy of some people within the community that try to make exceptions for certain fandoms (looking at you, "pro-fiction" anti-Hellaverse), but in short:

Closed species are not a legally protected concept. There is no legal way to prevent someone from making their own character based on a "closed" species, nor should there be. If you want to make your own Primagen, CCCat, or Kalon without paying for one or winning one, you can. Opposing this is anti pro-fiction. It is not theft to create a character based off of an anatomical blueprint, especially not one that is not intended to be unique to a single character; it is only theft to directly copy the design of a specific character in its entirety, or to create one and sell it. You do not need to spend money for the "right" to create a fictional character by your own hand.

It is anti pro-fiction to oppose the creation of offbrands.

It is anti pro-fiction to attempt to enforce rules set by "open but regulated" species, such as Dutch Angel Dragons, where NSFW is "prohibited" across the entire internet (and not just their own group spaces, which would be completely valid) and result in vehement harassment if you decide to do your own thing with your own character. In the past, this same group also attempted to moderate the physical traits that they allowed the characters to have. While the muzzle ring rule is no longer a thing, this community was once notorious for its admins and fans aggressively harassing artists if they dared to create a Dutch Angel Dragon with a white ring of fur around its muzzle.

Make that closed species character. Make that offbrand. Do what you want with whatever character you create yourself. The only time rules pertaining closed and regulated species are required to be followed is if you make the conscious decision to engage directly with those communities. If you do not care about joining the community and simply want to create a character, you can do what you want. Fiction is fiction.
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Sometimes I question myself as to whether I’m really dysphoric and if my feelings are real, and then I just have some crazy dream that reaffirms that no, I really do live like this. Last night I had a dream that I finally got top surgery. There was so much detail in this dream, more than what’s normal for me. There were so many inner thoughts during it, and it was one of those dreams where you spend “days” or “weeks” before you wake up and realize that none of that “lived experience” was real. 


I remember approaching the surgical table. I was understandably nervous, but I also remember saying to myself: This is it. One last nap, and when I wake up, they’ll be gone forever. I’m given the anesthetic, and I’m out immediately. I wake up in a hospital bed, and I’m antsy and impatient. I want to take the bandages off, I want to see. But I know I can’t yet, not while everything underneath was healing. But holy shit, I wanted to see so bad.


Days go by. The anticipation is killing me. What does it look like? What will it look like? Will my nipples look okay? What do my scars look like? But despite that, I remember looking down at my flattened chest and feeling immeasurable relief and happiness. Several weeks have passed before I’m able to take off the bandages. I meet my scars for the first time. I am so proud of them.


I remember being worried about how my friends and family would react if they noticed. But in the back of my mind I tell myself it’s okay, and that it doesn’t matter. This needed to happen for me to be happy. And I was happy. 


Even in the dream, I remembered something one of my best friends said to me—in real life—once, as a joke: “Your top surgery better be free with tits that small.” I laugh to myself and say, “Sorry, can’t say that it was. Insurance covered everything though, so it’s fine.” Of course, I can’t imagine the possibility of my top surgery being covered by insurance. I don’t think that’s something I’ll be fortunate enough to have happen while I’m awake.


It was fucking soul-crushing to wake up and realize everything that happened in the last several weeks wasn’t real. I threw my blanket off and was reminded that they were still there. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more heartbroken in my life. I want it to be real.

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 Yeah if you couldn't tell by me failing to beat the crazy bitch allegations on Tumblr and Twitter recently, I'm back. If you're wondering where the hell I was, I was dealing with some chronic health issues flaring up, and also eyestrain headaches caused by me needing new glasses. All of that among other things like shit work schedules and karate competitions (yes, still having to do those things despite the health problems. and yes, it was hell) and this and that and the other thing.

But I'm back now so woe, fanfic updates be upon ye.

I've also fixed up my Neocities somewhat. It's not completely done but I've touched up the links and fixed the broken images.

https://drinksglue.neocities.org/

Anyway here's wonderwall
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This is pertaining to the accusations against Alex Kister and my final thoughts on them. I actually made these thoughts known (somewhat) in an A/N on AO3 immediately after the issue resolved, but there was a character limit and I couldn't quite say everything that needed to be said.

This post does come EXTREMELY late. But I wanted to put this out there because even some of my readers have still been swallowing everything whole and believing Kister to be a groomer and/or an abuser. His worst crime is having shitty fucking opinions, but he's no groomer. Do I still hate him for the shit he's done to this fandom? Of course, but I'm not going to support anyone being taken down by fake abuse allegations.

Click here to continue reading. )
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Before I get into the big meat of my latest round of old-man complaints, I feel the need to preface this with the fact that I am not a fan of UrbanSpook or his series “The Painter”. I have my own criticisms of his work; I feel that it’s lackluster and is too formulaic, reads like a PowerPoint presentation, and has dialogue text that reads clunky and unnatural. Some of the sound design is also personally a little grating, with long, drawn-out segments of very loud sounds that me and my autistic brain find somewhat overstimulating.

Viagra Horse is pretty fucking funny though, not going to lie.


Click here to continue reading. )
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I finally made a Dreamwidth account! I've been needing more sites to use in the wake of the "Nothinghere" event on Tumblr, sites like this one that appear to be against the censorship of fictional works. Twitter was nice in that regard, but they do very little about harassment there, which is rampant and I got very sick of it.

I write primarily on AO3, and I was considering doing some crossposting between here and there. I might also use this journal for some longer thoughts that I was originally putting on Tumblr, but won't now that there's a risk that my blog could be deleted without warning at any time and I won't get it back.

All that said, needless to say I am new to the site, and open to suggestions as to what else I should post here.

I write a lot of fanfiction, and I have some original stories in the works. My main fandom that I write for is The Mandela Catalogue, though most of what I write is less than "respectable", to put it mildly. But I do have some clean stuff across several fandoms, so maybe I'll post about those too. Cheers! 
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