Elek Pendragon

I had a good first interview, an amazing second, and was invited for a third, but after spending a lot of time doing the numbers, I realized I couldn't afford to take a position and needed to withdraw.

And I'm so sad about it! I feel so bad! Like, I had a moment before I sent in my notice that maybe I could take the job, and just eat the salary difference. But I really can't.

I also feel worried that I've shit myself in the foot. Any job is better than this job, really. I just wasn't expecting somewhere so close by would have such a huge difference in cost of living. I really don't know as much as I think I do about the US.

I've got a friend who left a bad job situation for a school in California. He loves the job, loves the place, loves the atmosphere... but he's taken on a second job to cover his costs. He's young and single, and I probably would have done the same 20 years ago (I think I did, actually, many times). But at my age? Ugh. Can't do it.

So that was a bit of emotional baggage I wasn't expecting in doing a job search. I'm used to being rejected, but rejecting when they like you? Is also hard. But I know it's not much of a blip for them, as I've been on the other side of search Committees often enough.

Just... learned something new.

I also just had a first interview at another place. I'm really hoping for this one coz its closer, but again I'm likely up against some pretty hard competition.

I hate job searching. I just hate this place more.