Fading into a dream

Hiya, once again.

Things are moving fast, we made a lot of mistakes but the ship is ready for sailing. I can't help but feel extremely numb about it all. I'm sure that the moment I allow myself to feel or process something I will come undone.
Lately, I just distract myself. I'm not suited for a job right now, not with this level of stress and insecurity, but I will have to suck it up soon and get to work. It will be awful, I'm sure of it. I cannot even bear the thought, because I immediately think of- ending things. That can't be healthy, I know it isn't. But I can't do anything about it either.
I wish I could run away, I want to. I can't wait for the moment I get to leave.
I have to suffocate just a little longer. It will all be over soon.

Buck up, me.

PS. I'm consuming a lot of Good Omens content, it's simply magnificent, I love everything about those english madmen. Can't wait for S2.

I've been meaning to make a personal blog for a while now. This means I will be converting my tumblr into an art blog only. This is part of my process of reviving my presence online, since I've been gone for a while due to Stufftm.
I'm not sure how active I will be, but if I'm not making daily updates at least I will aim for weekly posts. This is not only to keep track of my activity, but to change the way I engage.
I have many personal milestones that I would like to achieve, and being consistent is one of them. There's nothing wrong with being a chaotic mess. I'm bigender, there's nothing consistent about me. But I do wish to change some aspects of myself that I don't like very much.

I'd like to speak to my friend, soon.