Bread for the Bread God

so I adapted this recipe from watching an anime - but I've found more sources since then. Here's the blended version with some ~authenticity and some convenience.

You will need:
yesterday's cold rice (ideally short grain but any will work)
a mortar and pestle (not optional)
skillet
broiler or toaster oven
nuts (ideally walnuts, subs in order of suitability: cashews, peanuts, almonds)
miso 
soy sauce
sugar or mirin
mirin or sake or rice vinegar
optional: sesamie seeds

Okay, here is a review. It is mostly in the form of hey read this, because I am still in my early stages with this book. Stupid of me to pick this one, which is already getting mainstream attention, but I just like it that much. 

The book is Night Night Fawn by Jordy Rosenberg, a fictionalized memoir in the voice of the author's mother, a (let's not mince words) terf zionist. 

I say that (derogatory) but the magic that interests me so much is the delving into the experiences and self-justifications and humanity of a person with bad and harmful beliefs. I don't really believe it is bad to do any more than I believe it's good to do (it's neither good nor bad to do), but it interests me, and it obviously interests the author, not to flinch from or minimize or simplify or smooth over anything about its narrator, but rather to give her her own full voice. She can't accept her son is caring for her at her end of life, so she persists in the delusion that a "large transgender bird" has kidnapped her and is making deathbed demands of her. 

I learned about it via this podcast interview with the author, here Ideology and Family History ft Jordy Rosenberg, Ordinary Unhappiness.

The author narrated the audio book version and my god I hope my library buys a copy of this, because I want it most of all. The podcast goes into the FEELINGS involved in voicing your own estranged mother's cruel words, near the end. Love to hold that shit in my hands.

Jewish tag is so I can private entries if people start to be clowns, I am still taking the temperature of this platform <3
 

I had one of those "clean everything and start projects and organize accounts" manias this weekend (for me, it's hormonal, and the headache and insomnia is the next step in the dance, ugh)

And I know by now that the energy is not enduring but I am TRYING my best for the outcomes to be enduring - which is to say, I held back posting anything unfinished and am going to try to let my desire to share stuff carry me through. I set up the page framework to post regular paintings on my neocities site, and have actually medium been following through on finishing regular paintings.

I don't really eat a lot of bread. There's nothing wrong with bread, I just once lived in a coop where we could get really good day olds from a nearby bakery, so we built the habit that since we could get OK bread for free, or bake really good bread from scratch, there was no reason to put bread on the grocery list.

But now don't live there anymore, and "I can bake really good bread from scratch, so don't put bread on the grocery list" is an ironclad habit (and the easiest one pot meals are in the curry family, with rice)

All this is to say I don't really feel like passover changes my eating that much, except for this morning where I found myself putting yogurt and jam on crumbled matzah instead of granola #inferiorsubstitute