italicised lies

Cat adoptions are somehow always surprising, and we're just happy watching all these happy endings with a twist only cats can create.

The internet is full of Cat Distribution System adoption stories - these cats who suddenly appear in a person's life, and the cat-to-human match seems so unbelievably purrfect it's hard not to think it was made deliberately. That's where the constant stream of CDS theories comes in, because… who are they? What are they? Is it a "they" at all? Who or what is this entity, body, or institution that constantly matches the cat in need to the right person who will give them a forever home, and does it all in an emotional twist?

To be honest, despite being the almighty I Can Has Cheezburger, we have no clue. The CDS is a mystery to us just as it is to any other cat person, even if we are the online cat content pillar of the internet. Our guess is that it doesn't matter how much of a cat person you are, the Cat Distribution System will remain a secret for you forever. But we also think that this is their secret to success. It makes every cat adoption very special. And we prefer a unique happy ending for cats over our curiosity to know what stands behind it.

So with this in mind, we are once again stunned by another ameowzing cat adoption story, this time by Kelly Eden on Facebook - she found an abandoned kitten who looks just like her childhood cat. Some might call it destiny, others call it fate, and some other people will say it was written in the stars. But we, cat people, know it's the intricate work of the Cat Distribution System, that knew (somehow) to send this cat right to the arms of the person who will for sure take them in. Was this a coincidence? Maybe. But was it meowgical? Absolutely.

Taking your cat to the vet is often a picture-worthy experience. 

Look, we all hate going to the vet's with our cats. I hate it, you hate it, our cats hate it. It's the worst. Going to the vet is generally not a fun experience for anyone. So, we try to make the best out of it. In whatever way we can. We talk to other cat owners in the waiting room, and we end up hearing some insane cat at the vet stories. We ask the secretaries about the silliest things people have paid thousands for in their clinic. And of course, we look at the other cats. 

Generally, in the waiting room, the cats are just kind of stressed. We know that the real chaos happens inside the exam room, when the carrier is opened and the little fur machine is out. Some cats enjoy vet visits, but most of them… hate each and every second of it. And as difficult as it is to see as the owner of said stressed or angry, it is also sometimes worth a picture. Because in retrospect, some of the things that they do in there are definitely worth documenting. 

Cats hide at the vet's office. Cats run around, losing their minds, looking for an escape route in every corner of the room. Cats look at the vet as if they are their worst enemy. And it is hilarious. It just is. It is so hilarious that when one person on Twitter shared a picture of their heckin' grumpy cat at the vet's office, thousands of others came in with their own photos and created one of the funniest cat-related viral Twitter threads that we have seen in a long, long time. We promise, this is one that is 100% worth a scroll.

With summer in full swing it is becoming more and more common to see the kitties of our local community laying out in the sun, soaking up its warming rays. But what you might not have known is that our fluffy felines are doing so in order to bring their heartwarming and healing energy into our lives. So if all you want is a purr machine to sit atop your chest and melt your worries away, we suggest finding yourself a feline who is fully charged.

The theory that cats are solar powered is one that has circulated in the cat community for a while now. Though many pawrents and feline fans a like have taken to considering this charging behavior to mean that a cat is reupping on their clawminal tendencies and that they will strike out against their families with the vengeance of a thousand burning suns. However, we like to think rather differently about this behavior. We believe that this is our cat child's way of bringing us warmth and love, that they use the heat of the sun to comfort us and fill us with pawsitive energy.  

Now yes, this is all theoretical, but if you take a moment to consider that cats are warm blooded and so do not specifically need to sunbathe. And then add to that the fact that cats tend to be rather docile and delightful once they have arisen from their sunbathing nap. And you have a recipe for a cat who will more than happily curl up next to you, still warm from the sun, putting out purrs like a jackhammer, healing your heart one breath at a time. And we hope that this cute collection of lounging cattos will do the same for you. We cannot all be lucky enough to have a sunbathing feline who wants to cuddle and purr, but we can all enjoy these kitties curled up in the sun.
 

This little orange stowaway picked one unforgettable place to ask for help.

Reddit's r/CatDistributionSystem subreddit has seen kittens show up in all kinds of strange places, but under the hood of a car has to be one of the more nerve-racking deliveries. Thankfully, this little orange guy made enough noise to let everyone know exactly where he was before anyone turned the key.

The kitten was discovered perched on top of the transmission after his rescuer heard him meowing beneath the hood. Getting him out took a little patience and a spoonful of wet food, but once he realized help had arrived, he happily traded engine grease for a much cozier place indoors.

After a much-needed bath to wash off all the grime, the orange adventurer settled in almost immediately. He proved to be just as sweet as he was curious, making himself comfortable like he'd been part of the family all along. One of the cutest moments came when he met the family's dog, with the two sharing gentle little nose boops that made it seem like they'd already decided to be best friends.

With three resident cats and a dog already running the household, keeping him wasn't the plan. Instead, the family found a solution that feels just as heartwarming. The little orange guy will be heading to the home of a close friend, where they'll still get to watch him grow up knowing he's safe, loved, and exactly where he belongs.

It's hard to imagine a better ending for a kitten who started his day covered in engine grease. One loud little meow was all it took to turn a dangerous hiding spot into the first chapter of a very happy forever home.

Let's all take a moment to acknowledge this special and adorable little lady, and celebrate her 21 years! 

All we can ask for with our pets is that they're happy and healthy, and that they're afforded the most years on earth possible. It's the flipside of some of the most beautiful relationships we can have. When it comes to our pets, they're like these perfect beings that just love us, but their lives don't last as long. In Reddit's r/SeniorCats, a woman reflects on 21 years with her best friend. It's not everyday that a cat lives that long, so when one does it's definitely a celebration. This heartfelt woman describes their first moments together, and all the life changes they've been through. She's always been her rock and shadow. It was 21 years ago and the woman was leaving a friend's house, she came across a litter of four kittens that were abandoned in the driveway. She decided to take one home that night, and it ended up being the best decision she ever made in her life. 

Looking back, she wonders how things would have panned out without her cat, and knows how special their connection is. The little kitty is 21 years and counting! She's still spry and chipper, her personality is fully intact, and her health issues are slim. Here at I Can Has Cheezburger we're wishing Puss Puss a very happy birthday, and a healthy future, and years to come! An uplifting story of a cat's long life is exactly what we all need. Enjoy the photos below. Happy birthday! 

What goes inside an orange cat's mind?

I think I have to confess that orange cats are my absolute favourite. Maybe it's because of Alice in Wonderland… I know that the smiley cat is not orange, but kind of is… right? Anyways, in my head, that's how orange cats are: funnier, sassier, and more intelligent than the rest of the cats. And also, they are stunning. When the sunlight hits their fur, you can see tiny golden bits that make them look majestic and so beautiful. 

I also feel like orange cats have somehow built an entire reputation around being delightfully unpredictable. Every cat owner thinks their pet is unique, but orange cats seem to inspire stories that sound completely made up. You'll hear someone casually mention that their orange cat learned how to open cabinets, stole a loaf of bread, or spent an entire afternoon yelling at a ceiling fan. Somehow, everyone just nods and accepts it because that's exactly the kind of behavior you'd expect from a ginger kitty.

Maybe that's why people love them so much. They're full of personality in a way that's impossible to ignore. Even when they're doing absolutely nothing, they manage to look like they're plotting something ridiculous. One minute they're stretched out in a patch of sunlight looking like royalty. The next they're trying to squeeze themselves into a box that's clearly three sizes too small.

And honestly, I admire that energy. Orange cats move through life with a level of confidence most humans can only dream of. They don't spend much time worrying about whether something is a good idea. They simply commit to the bit and deal with the consequences later, which is probably why they're responsible for so many unforgettable internet moments.

Also, since I know all about memes, and more specifically cat memes, orange cat memes tend to be more entertaining. I think this is because they know how to showcase the craziness of these specific cats the best: with crazy stories and pictures of cats doing just the weirdest things out there. I'm sure you'll love the memes that I gathered for you.

The CDS has some funny ways of delivering its fluffy packages sometimes. 

Every once in a while, we encounter a "normal" cat adoption story. You know, the kind where a person walks into a shelter, carefully looks around and chooses the one kitty who feels right to them. This happens. But it's actually not normal at all. The most common way that people adopt cats is not by walking into a shelter and choosing one. No, it's actually the complete opposite. It's the cats who choose their humans, not the humans who choose the cats. Seriously. Ask a cat owner. Chances are that the story they will tell you will be a lot sillier. 

My cat followed me home randomly on Independence Day. My husband's cat randomly walked into his apartment on his 25th birthday. My best friend's two cats are ones that she found on the streets near her apartment, alone, sick, and in desperate need of help. For most of us… It just kind of happens. One day, we don't have a cat. The next day, our lives are completely changed. 

For the person who posted their story on r/CatDistributionSystem, it was exactly the same. They have thought about getting a cat in the past, but they never quite got around to doing it. Of course, they didn't need to. Their kitty ended up finding them, just like the rest of us. And the way he found them, we promise, was way more chaotic than they ever expected it to be. For four hours, this tiny ginger menace was loose in this person's store, wreaking havoc everywhere until he finally allowed himself to be caught. It was his final hurrah before becoming a house kitty. He did it because he thought there was a rush. He doesn't know yet that you can cause just as much chaos in someone's house as outside of it. 

Of course she was distressed, she was in labor!

Summer is a difficult time for stray cats. The relentless heat and lack of access to shade and fresh water make each day an effort to simply survive. Some cats are taken care of by neighbors, but others aren't so lucky. If you see a cat outside in the current heat and have room to spare in your garage or a small bathroom, please consider taking them inside, or at least giving them some fresh, cold water.

Thankfully, our stray from Reddit's r/catadvice subreddit found a heartwarming hooman to save her during the inescapable 100-degree heatwave. For the first few days, she was calm, even enjoying her newly found indoor life, until all of a sudden, she started meowing like crazy. Meowing so much that it started disturbing her new hooman's other pets. Unable to get her to a vet, and knowing she couldn't release her back outside, the two just had to wait it out, until it became purrfectly obvious why she was in distress: she was about to give birth to six kittens.

The kittens were delivered healthily, and if it hadn't been for this kind hooman, she and her baby kittens might not have survived. It just goes to show that one small deed can truly make a big change. This hooman didn't just save one life today, she saved seven. And now, these kitty cuties are looking for their furrever homes, and we can all breathe a little easier.

Growing up was a trap, wasn't it?

Becoming an adult seemed a lot more exciting before it actually happened. Somewhere along the way, weekends stopped being about sleeping in and started becoming the only time to catch up on laundry, grocery shopping, and all the little jobs that somehow piled up during the week. There are always dishes in the sink, something running low in the pantry, and at least one appointment you keep telling yourself you'll schedule tomorrow.

Nobody mentions how much time gets spent thinking about dinner, either. You finally figure out what to make, only to realize you forgot one ingredient. You stand in front of the fridge hoping inspiration will magically appear. Five minutes later, you're back in front of the same fridge with the exact same ingredients, convinced something must have changed.

The to-do list has a way of keeping itself alive. You answer one email and two more arrive. You put away the clean laundry, then notice the hamper is somehow filling up again. You finally remember to water the plants, pay the bill, return the package, and take the trash out, and for a brief moment you feel like you've completely figured life out. Then you remember you still need to make that phone call you've been putting off for three weeks.

The victories get smaller, but they somehow feel bigger. Finding twenty dollars in an old jacket pocket. Remembering to defrost dinner before leaving for work. Making it through the grocery store without forgetting the one thing you actually needed. Getting into bed and realizing you don't have to set an alarm for tomorrow.

Life has a way of making even the smallest responsibilities feel like a full-time job. That's why it's nice to press paws every once in a while and laugh at the parts everyone else is quietly dealing with too. If today's been one long checklist, you're definitely not the only one trying to keep up.

You know it's a bad situation if the vets don't want to give him back.

People adopt cats for all different reasons. Companionship, love, because they're cute, on a whim, they receive them as a gift, or they simply inherit them. But, no matter what the reason, if you don't want to care for the cat fully, to make sure it lives a safe and healthy life, then please, give it to someone who will. No cat deserves to be forced to survive outdoors and only get your love and care when you want. That's not pet ownership. A cat is a commitment, and they deserve 100% of your love 100% of the time. 

If you adopt a cat and make it live outside, like our matted "stray" from Reddit's r/straycats community, then you're not giving it the life it deserves. A neighbor noticed them wandering around outside for months, but it wasn't until a caring couple took them in, assuming they were a stray. So when they took the cat into the vet to check for a microchip, they were shocked to find out they had one. And even worse, the original owners wanted them back.

This is a question we come across a lot here at I Can Has Cheezburger. What is more impurrtant, a cat's well-being or the "rights" of pet ownership? Obviously, we do not encourage stealing. But, do you really maintain your "right" to an object you mistreat? Technically, yes, but morally, no. Keeping a cat just for your benefit and not caring about the actual state of the cat is not how an owner should be. Do better.

Our couple and the cat's story continues below.