Went out to watch a sports game. Had various beer myself. Ended up talking with some lady who was in early 40s. Hinting at me then ending up inside their car. I was kinda sketched out but seemed safe at the end. Well we hooked up and it was pretty awesome I won’t lie. I don’t ever hook up with anyone from the bar tbh. But man I’m all bruised up from bite and scratch marks. It went on for 2-3hours
It’s sort of an odd situation but when I was moving to a new city for college I joined a Facebook group about finding roommates in the area.
I didn’t have a lot of money and would be working to pay my own rent so I wanted somewhere cheap. After two potential places fell through I was losing hope.
Then I got a message from my roommates mom. She basically explained her kid struggled to make friends and keep roommates around.
She was super desperate and offered to pay half my rent each month. All I had to do was live with her kid and be their friend. I was also super desperate to find somewhere to live before the semester started so I agreed.
I’ve held up my end of the deal despite the fact that I absolutely hate my roommate. They are disgusting, have no social awareness, completely helpless, super dramatic, have an insanely mess social life, and generally just suck to live with.
I absolutely hate them but I get to live in a really nice apartment for pretty cheap. Despite being a nightmare roommate and person I do still feel bad for them. I know if they found out they’d be devastated so I’ve never told anyone about it.
I’m just tired, can’t explain it all because it’s too much other than I am just tired. I love someone but I have destroyed them and ran their compassion towards me into the ground. That was my last straw, tonight every one will leave and I can just fall asleep for the final time. I’m tired of hurting the people I love, I will hurt them one last time by dying and then it will be over
