tedwords

"I thought we all were children of God." 

The day after our return home was kind of a blur. I remember jet lag hitting us big time, and waking up at around six, even though we had gone to bed at midnight. Couldn't sleep. We were still in that weird middle phase between Eastern Time and Barcelona Time. 

After that, the weekend was upon us, and it was basically all Hunchback for the second weekend of the Eldredge Players production of Hunchback of Notre Dame. 

Three shows. We attended the first, just the two of us, to see what the show was like. The second day, we spent the day with Corb's mom and then took her to see it at night. And the third, a matinee, we helped with the house and also with set destruction.

It was absolutely phenomenal. The director we selected knew his stuff and executed the show to perfection. I heard so many people say it was the best show they have ever seen the Eldredge Players do, including Corb (half joking. I think?)

Since this is my journal, I can write about how that impacts me, having directed for the group for twenty years, more or less consecutively. It's only the last two years I haven't directed but instead headed up the selection committee to pick the director, and also serve as a producer, to help select the main production folks for the shows.

And how I feel? Very happy, frankly. First of all, I haven't had any interest in directing the big June productions for a few years now, and secondly, I wanted to focus more about the April retirement and then our big retirement trip in May. Directing was absolutely the last thing I wanted to do.

But also? I am really happy that the group is did such an amazing job this time. It's not all about me--it's about the group learning and growing and expanding and getting better and perfecting each and every time. And I feel comfortable that I contributed by picking someone so capable to handle what is a difficult task even though I was going to be away for the last two weeks before the show opened and also making sure that really capable people were there to assist him, to ensure that the play was successful. I am in particular thinking about Melissa and Tina. I also did some great work with the PR and Corb and I built several of the set pieces.

The other thing I like is that I can be more myself when I go to the performances. With the heat off and no need for me to be "on" (although I still do to a certain extent, as artistic director), I can be a bit more relaxed and not feel the need to make everyone like me. That was such a concern for so many years. 

This year, not so much. 

During auditions, I felt no apprehension about giving it right back to a really needy older man who has complained to me for the past twenty years when something didn't go the way he wanted it to. This time, when he wrote to me to complain that he wasn't cast and that the group "discriminates against 70 year old white men," I quickly wrote back to point out I was not directing the show and he should take it up with the director, and that he really wasn't a friend of mine, just someone who liked to complain to me whenever things didn't go his way. And to please stop doing that. Oh, and since he was a councilman, he no longer had the privilege of putting his election posters up on my front lawn (this past fall although I had begged and pleaded for him to be in our 80th no less than 4 times, he said he would only try out if the director drove to his house to audition privately. And then complained that we discriminated against 70 year old white guys when the director wouldn't. That broke it for me. This time around, he refused to let the music director play for his audition but insisted his wife play. It's ridiculous. It was high time to push back.)

Or, when I saw someone from a nearby theater company who routinely treats me with a bit of disdain (including one evening I will never forget where he and two other folks absolutely treated me and Corb like second class citizens while eating dinner with us), I felt no need to kiss his butt. "Oh, hi XXX," was all he was going to get from me. 

I focused on loving the people I loved and not worrying about the other folks. I told people I loved them freely, I laughed with the people who make me laugh, and I just tried to enjoy things more. I avoided the bloviators who only want to hear themselves talk. It made life a bit easier, not having to worry about being "seen."

I think that is a good way to approach life. 

Yesterday was a huge day outside, starting to clean up the backyard now that we are back from vacation and no longer have any excuse. And, we started the process of opening up the pool.

Weighed myself this morning. I am down ten pounds since retirement day. That makes me feel good. 

Okay, back to the outside.