☀ This entire story is tragic OOC, because I can only show it to a select group of people (DS people, primarily, who were in the game for most of Meja's dev) and have it make sense. I mean, so far I've referenced Sanctuary, Pokemon, Supernatural, Doctor Who... and there will be plenty more as more references to Distant Skies are made. And I can't always sit back and explain them, or it drags things down (and the primarily audience doesn't need it anyway), so...

☀ Plus, there's the whole dæmon thing.

☀ Secondly, it's tragic IC, because this is an AU exploration of what Meja goes through at least seven hundred years in the future in her canon timeline. I haven't actually nailed down when she and Loki have their big blowout yet. But by that point, canon Meja is an immortal (a Valkyrie), and quite a bit more powerful than this Meja in most respects. Yes, she's less strong, but she's way more durable and has experience on her side. Certain Valkyrie, in the mythology this world is based on, are sometimes regarded as minor gods. They're tough motherfuckers. This Meja is 26. She has a few powers that the other Meja never did, like her special sight from Hel, but she's mortal and... squishy. One squishy mortal versus a Norse god who more resembles an eldritch abomination than a god? Things are going to get unpleasant and messy.

☀ Writing this part, specifically the end of it, with Erling, made me realize that Meja would have more lasting mental repercussions than before. True, Meja has almost died in the past several times, and she's watched both parents die (her father by troll, her mother in a hospital bed next to her). But those deaths she was able to compartmentalize. Meja's very good at putting things away where she doesn't think about them, and continuing on. But she's not the Determinator trope, not really. She gets depressed and put off, occasionally, just like the rest of us. When she went to the Observatory for the first time, she didn't come home for months because a small part of her decided, "Fuck it." But she did end up going back, because she knew it was right thing to do. A lot of terrible things happen to her because it's the "right thing to do." However, in this part, Meja has to pull a dagger out of her best friend's hide and listen to him die right next to her, knowing that she is the reason he was targeted. If they hadn't been as close, Loki wouldn't have targeted Erling and the winter wolf would still be alive. So that mammoth guilt complex that she carries around, spawned at first by couldn't save parents, gets if it weren't for me he'd still be alive to add to its arsenal. Plus, I mean, watching a friend die like that, opened up, is pretty traumatic, even for someone who uses a great-axe as a weapon.

☀ This leads to the obvious: Meja would get some pretty hardcore PTSD. I've played with acute stress disorder, its little cousin, before, when Meja's town was destroyed (funnily enough, same guilty reaction then, too; she's predictable, this girl). Whenever I do real disorders/issues I try to write them as best as I can. In RP, sometimes it's a little difficult, because tagging can be so quick and you can forget things. Writing, you can take your time and make sure that things look the way you want them to. So I'm trying very hard to stick to symptoms of PTSD and keep them actively in the story, from now on.

☀ Researching Norwegian has always been a great pleasure in playing/writing Meja. Her development at DS in terms of language I really enjoyed. She learned more casual English, modern phrasings (remember, she's from 1971), and things that she never would have had access to in her world. So that gives me a great freedom with her dialogue. Also, she never really used to swear before the Observatory, but somewhere along the line she suddenly became a lot more comfortable with it. So, enjoy the Norwegian swearing, I've tried to make it as authentic as I could. Du pikk → you dick. For example.

☀ Originally, I was going to have a conversation in this part where Meja and Honir talked about what kind of dæmon her parents would have. But I needed to get Skalla in there more, at the beginning, so that got shuffled by the wayside. I do believe, however, (and as their writer I sort of get authority) that her mother would have had a type of bird — maybe a robin — and her father would have had something very solitary. A snow leopard, possibly, in keeping with the apparent Urdahl cat theme. Meja, who doesn't know as much as I do about dæmons, would have guessed her mother to have something small and colorful, as cheerful and pleasant as her demeanor. Because she's a momma's girl, and her momma is her role model. Or was. She doesn't think about that as much, anymore.

☀ The transport spell knocks her for such a loop because mortals aren't supposed to use it. (Meja knows that. She's just ignoring it.) Even the dwarves don't but that's a spoiler. Even mortals blessed by Yggdrasil. It hurts them on a fundamental level, which is why Honir is so messed up for a bit. Skalla and Fenrir were in charge of spell work, previously, on a big level. Jfc, Meja, be more of a crazypants.

☀ Meja was an alcoholic when she was 15-16. I don't reference it very often. It's a pretty dark chapter of even her history, and I don't think she's ever told anyone about it. That was her coping mechanism for the death of her parents. Now she sets off to kill homicidal gods and goes on crazy adventures. Way more healthy. Anyway, it wouldn't be very satisfying to be an alcoholic now, for her. It takes her several bottles to get truly drunk, and that's expensive... no one should enable her with dwarven booze, I think it would kill her eventually anyway. Yes even if she's immune to poison, this is special stuff.

☀ This chapter was like pulling teeth, compared to the past 4, and I have no idea why. I did get to use my favorite Norse villain ("race"), though, which makes me very happy.

☀ I did honestly consider referencing Gandalf and the Balrog in the dwarven myth, and I am not sorry at all. But instead I decided to, very vaguely, allude to Sherlock Holmes instead, with the waterfall. Not sorry about that, either.

☀ I try not to angst and add some humor, and then what do I do? Immediately follow it with angst. FACEPALM.

☀ A lot of these names have been re-purposed from other things in the mythology that don't exist in Meja's 'verse. Járnviðr, for example, isn't a dwarf city. Dwarves, aside from being evil and forging things (they made Fenrir's bindings), are barely mentioned at all, and I fleshed mine out quite a bit.

☀ Eloise Finn, who probably won't get too developed in this story (sorry, El, you feature much more heavily in the canon), is from New York. She died saving people from the radiation poisoning. Her bravery and strength of spirit is what got her 'reforged' as a Valkyrie. In canon, when Meja becomes a Valkyrie, too, Eloise is her second-in-command on Midgard. Eir, who knows this will (probably) eventually happen, told her, and that's why she seems a little leery of Meja at first. But then she thinks Meja is pretty cool, and loosens up.