mouse's upside down moon

My sister Kerrie has been quite stressed about it this year, in part due to the heat wave that had hit New England for the past few days. But more, because she was hosting 22 people. Mostly my family, too. 

Corb and I made sure that we did our share of the work, because we didn't want Kerrie to be so stressed. It helped, too, that the heat wave was starting to break, and the temperature was a bit lower than the day before. A nice breeze along the water really helped, too. 

The crowd was similar to Father's day, although my brother Tommy and his wife Lisa were away in Block Island. His son Jack went, however, along with his girlfriend Emma, and that was nice. We really like Jack and Emma, and I enjoy watching them interact with Theo. They really get along well together, which is sweet.

Tommy being in Block Island did prompt Mom to tell her story about Dad would always go to Block Island and leave her with 4 small kids. This must be a core memory for her, as she tells the story quite a bit. I was amusing Jack by seeing how many times I could get her to tell the same story. Seven was the final count. 

Another addition was Dan's family, including his mother and sister. Samantha's boyfriend Bryan went, too. They are all very much theater people, so I enjoy my conversations with them, although Bryan is somewhat on the spectrum and Dan's mother does not say a word about anything. 

Josie came to the beach house with Tim. It was kind of awkward, and I don't really think he gets me or Corb. We also suspect he is a bit conservative. 

We tried to be as nice as possible, but I think Josie feels a bit uncomfortable, too, and doesn't wish to upset him, which is understandable. But it makes things feel a bit off. Corb said that when we went for a swim, he was alone with Josie and Tim, and she acted like she barely knew him, which hurt his feelings, since they have known each other for 23 years. Kerrie said he shouldn't be hurt, because Josie was there, but the real Josie we all know really wasn't there. 

Life changes things. I get it. I did try to be lightly flirtatious with her, because it amuses me that it might upset him a tiny bit. But most of all, I wish only happiness for Josie, and understand that not everyone is going to be as tolerant about our amicable relationship as Andrew was. 

Corb also said Tim wasn't aware that Ashes and I had made up and clearly appeared to stop himself from saying anything when Josie told him we made up a few months ago (it was actually about four months ago). That is probably for the best. I still have some anger toward him for saying that I needed to "man up" and make up with her, since it was my duty as a father. He truly, truly does not know what the fuck he is talking about, or the full situation, and has no right to say anything. 

But this is not anything we need to ever discuss. I respect his world and feel no need to ever have that conversation. 

The big thing is, it was a lovely day, everyone got along well, and the swim was fantastic. I spent a lot of time playing in the water with Kaeden and I think he really appreciated the interaction. 

I think my favorite part of the day was at the end, when folks started to leave and Kerrie was able to start relaxing. Corb, Kerrie, Clark and I sat on the deck talking, and it was so nice to see Kerrie stop running around and just enjoy herself. Despite the loud fireworks and the bugs descending, I enjoy the conversations the four of us have. And Clark is a conservative! But we all know what borders not to cross and respect that, and it makes me feel relaxed around him and helps me trust them so much. 

One thing Kerrie mentioned: the beach house next door is up for sale. I might honestly have an interest in buying it. I like the idea of have a family compound. Kerrie said she would ask the next door neighbor how much they were looking for. 

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The next day, we went to Scott's house for a cookout. As usual, both Corb and I were dreading it, although to be fair, Corb was dreading the day before, too. Socializing is exhausting. 

Despite the usual dread, as usual it wasn't as bad as were expecting. It never is. 

We always think Greg is going to say something upsetting, but really, he rarely does, and all in all, Corb's mom was the grouchiest, as is usually the case, because she gets to be so self-pitying. In this case, she is upset at Greg (because she drove over to his job and upset him by asking if he was drinking again) as well as Scott's daughter Jackie (who has an eating problem and lives in a bit of a fantasy world, but Diana was hell bent on talking to her about it and only made things worse by calling her "unattractive.") It made conversations at first a bit awkward. 

She is also upset with us, as she elected not to go to the beach house the day before even though we had invited her. It was totally understandable (at 80, the thought of a humid beach house is not a fun prospect), but she was also annoyed we didn't take her antiquing in the morning (we were too tired from the night before.) 

Greg was absolutely fine. 

As with my family, the gatherings tend to have a pattern. There is light chatter and snacking. Then we dive into dinner. Then Greg, Scott and Corb talk about Greg's lack of belief in the supernatural and we all discuss the afterlife, or what happens next, as basic atheists (save for Scott and Diana. I think.) Then Scott and Greg discuss the Civil War battles, which bore me to tears. Finally, in an effort to bring things back to the broader group, the two discuss how they used to pick on Corb as a child. Which of course Corb always loves (not). 

This pattern has been followed for well over a decade. It's as tried and true and Core Memory as my mom discussing Block Island and having gone to four different high schools in four years at every gathering we go to. 

One discussion I was a bit appalled by. Scott indicated he has never been, nor had any desire to, visit New York City. He is about 57 years old. His son chimed in to say that New York City is just the same as Boston, so what's the point? All cities are the same. 

I was aghast at the ignorance. Actually, I felt kind of sorry for them. How can anyone make a judgement like that without at least having gone so they know what they are talking about? 

But this does get down to the essential philosophical difference between Corb and his brother. It's broader than liberal vs conservative. It's small and limited versus broad and expansive. I am so grateful Corb was able to escape that mindset and feel so, so sorry for people who have it. 

At the very least, I can be proud that I raised my kids to be broad minded and tolerant. It's a big world out there, and the more you know of it, the better you are.