allekha: Bright embroidered flowers on black background (Embroidery on black)
[personal profile] allekha
For the first time in the history of my AO3 account, I received a comment worth reporting to Abuse as harassment. Not upset or anything, but I'm curious to see if they handle it any faster than the usual. So far: response slower than the last few 'art scam' spammer comments I reported, though I hear there's a big sporting game on or something.

In better news, the zinnias and dianthus I planted are starting to bloom 🥰

I'm also getting back into using flashcards for Japanese, and I fiiiiiinally switched over to Anki like everyone else did a decade+ ago lol. Mnemosyne worked a lot better for me visually, but the latest version is quite slow and development seems to have ground to a halt, and it turns out Anki now has plugins to make it look nicer than a prison wall, and a better algorithm too. Since I needed to make a new deck anyway... Anki it is. It's been about three days, and with some colors poured into the UI, it's not so bad. 語彙力を高めなきゃ😤
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[personal profile] duskpeterson

At one time, the cellar of the current palace was made up of dank, dim chambers where the palace's slave-servants slept and sometimes worked. When the previous Chara made up his mind to free all the palace slaves, there was much discussion over what to do with the former slave-quarters. The somewhat belated consensus by the palace officials was that these rooms were unfit to live in. There was talk of turning the rooms into storage rooms.

To everyone's amazement, the palace's community of eunuchs came forward and asked that the dank, dim chambers be given over to them. They had never before had a place in the palace that belonged solely to them. Many of them, being recently freed slaves, had lived in the slave-quarters; they considered this their home, one that might finally belong to them, rather than to their slave-masters.

The Chara graciously granted them their new quarters and forbade anyone who was not a half-man from entering the quarters, except by invitation of the eunuchs.

I can testify that the eunuch community has done a marvellous job of redecorating the cellar, so that it is bright and cheerful. One room alone has not been touched: the slaves' punishment room, which remains as a stark reminder of this place's bloody past.

If you are invited to visit the eunuchs' quarters, I strongly advise you to visit the punishment room. My advice grows even stronger if you keep slaves yourselves.


[Translator's note: Free-man's Blade includes a visit to the slave quarters, courtesy of a half-man.]

obsessed with music

Jul. 7th, 2026 11:15 am
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[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest
I'm sitting on my HP laptop listening to some old school Evanescence music. I love her hauntingly beautiful vocals. Lately, I've been moving from Lady Gaga and listening to other bands like Girli, Thirty Seconds to Mars and more. 

Did I tell you I write lyrics? I turn them into Pop/Rock or Soul songs using an AI music maker app called Suno. It's really fun. My vocal ability or ability to play any instruments has never been strong so it's nice to hear your lyrics come to life through a synthetic voice. I've been uploading them to Spotify under the name Aleah Kate using a music distributer. I also turned the songs into a CD I titled a hundred thousand roses. You can view that here: www.elasticstage.com/aleahsmusic 

N
o pressure to purchase of course! In this economy, prices get steep. I set the price to the lowest I was allowed to by the site. Anyway, hope you at least enjoy the samples of the songs.

--Aleah WestLeah

July 6 2026 Handwritten Journal

Jul. 6th, 2026 02:52 pm
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[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest

  2:33pm July 6 2026 Dear journal, Listening to girli. I love the song matriarchy. "While we touch we fuck the patriarchy." It is about sapphic love being different than straight love. I love the band Girli. I’m really closer to womanhood than masculinity lately and that’s okay. I appreciate the masculinity that I feel sometimes but I guess it’s okay that I feel only a slight connection to it nowadays. I miss being picked out in the bars. I guess I just lost myself. I used to be young. I had a good run. I guess I just need to put myself online. I hate that but it’s the only way I know how to find a woman. In a way, I don’t like men. They just like ladies young and they leave. It’s crazy. A woman could be that way too. I could find a woman or a nonbinary or whatever that tricks me too but I want to find someone. Honestly, I’m just tired of being with family. I just want to create my own family. -Aleah/Westleah

Owe A lot

Jul. 6th, 2026 11:15 am
enchantedsnowforest: (Gender fluid)
[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest
 Sitting on my iPad again. Thinking about going to work around the house to both earn some money and know how to take care of a partner one day. I rode the bike with my sunglasses and it ended up not being too bad. I was scared to do it at first but I’m glad I did it! The sunglasses weren’t too tinted. I think I’m going to guzzle down my $1 coffee though and get home fast before it gets too hot outside. 

Another random thought: I think I want to save money in order to adopt or have IVF one day. I really want a partner but I don’t know if I’ll ever find my person. Especially as I get older. No one in the bars wants me now that I’m older. Not even the men which is weird for me. I’m attracted to men but I’m really curious and fantasize about dating women. Alas, we will see how this goes.

I owe a lot of money to my credit card and money to my Mom. It’s about $100 total. It’s not a lot for some people but it is for me as someone on SSI. But no matter, this too will pass.

Speaking of Mom, here’s half of Mom and I with my soup from yesterday.

Mom and I



Well, signing off. Going to write in my handwritten journal now. Bye!

- Aleah/WestLeah

On The 250th Birthday Of AMERICA

Jul. 4th, 2026 05:37 pm
enchantedsnowforest: (Default)
[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest
Hello!

What a happy day! I went out to the mall with Mum and Grandma and looked at purses and shoes. I bought a checkered hat at VANS. It was nice.

Later today, I got a nice lemonade from Panera’s and drank it down. I got a free cookie from Panera’s too. I’m excited to see what tonight brings!

Aleah and WestLeah

250th Day!

Jul. 4th, 2026 08:30 am
enchantedsnowforest: (Default)
[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest
 Dear Journal,

          WOW!
 CAN YOU BELIEVER TODAY IS AMERICA’S 250TH BIRTHDAY! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!

          Today, I rode the bike all the way to McDonald’s and bought myself an iced coffee. It beats spending close to $8 for an iced coffee at Starbucks that’s for sure. I enjoy getting a good deal. Today I had plans on going to Kava & Co. and watching fireworks by myself but I will go with family instead. I don’t have to do life alone all the time.
                I think today I will be happy. I’ll have a joyful holiday today. I think I will smile and be pleasant to my family. I got a lot of refunds yesterday from the mall because I tried to charge up my credit card. Mom made me take almost everything back. So I did. I kept a pair of shoes but they ended up being really uncomfortable. So I’m taking those back to get off my charge card too. 
                I wonder how this day will go on this Happy 250th Birthday America Day today? I’ll update later tonight. :)

       - Aleah

Heatwave so homophobic

Jul. 2nd, 2026 09:55 pm
dhampyresa: Paris coat of arms: Gules, on waves of the sea in base a ship in full sail Argent, a chief Azure semé-de-lys Or (fluctuat nec mergitur)
[personal profile] dhampyresa
(Paris) Pride was cancelled. So was Solidays, but not the Top 14 finale or any of the football fanzones, afaik. Call this "interesting", I guess.

Been having a lot of Floor Time lately, which is when I lie down on the floor where the air is cooler to nap and/or listen to podcasts. Which means I have now caught up with This Podcast Will Kill You, a podcast mostly about diseases and their history/biology/etc.

The following was sent in a group chat:

New level of Catholic guilt unlocked: the pope wants to know why you haven’t finished that draft yet.


And I'm feeling very attacked right now.

Name On My Drink & More

Jul. 2nd, 2026 12:05 pm
enchantedsnowforest: (Default)
[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest
Dear Diary,

         Today I got a drink at Starbucks. I put it on my credit card but it feels good to camp out at Starbucks on my iPad. They asked my name and I told them WestLeah. Of course, people put it on the drink as Wesley but hey whatever works? Right? I told them how to spell it but it’s okay I guess. I’m drinking a passion iced tea lemonade. I was supposed to get blood work done today for my vision but it was taking too long so I rescheduled my blood work for Monday. I’m terrified of losing my vision. I get instances where I lose vision for a few seconds in one eye. It’s terrifying that it will happen to me soon. I should have stayed for my blood work. I was just there for three hours waiting and waiting. I’ll just get it done Monday at 7:15am

         It feels good being WestLeah again. Sort of like a name I haven’t outgrown yet. Yesterday, I saw someone flat chested and dressed similar to me in a muscle t shirt and black shorts and instantly, I felt dysphoria again. I wanted my top chest gone for a few minutes and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven’t felt dsyphoria in a good while. While I still mainly feel connected to womanhood, it felt good to feel a small part of masculinity come screaming back at me. I’m growing a small goatee with my facial hair that I have from PCOS. I really like it. Even though I am not entirely sure about where I stand in masculinity, it feels good to develop masculine features the best way I know I can. If it ever came down to a surgery, I think my dysphoria hits me harder when I get bottom dysphoria. I wouldn’t want the top surgery, just the bottom surgery. I don’t know what to do. I feel mostly nonbinary. Like, a lot of me is a woman. I relish that ideal, that side of me that doesn’t mind being called “ma’am” for the most part. But there are small times I wish I had people that called me WestLeah or referred to me as a they/them. I love it. 

         I went to an LGBTQ bar the other day. I was very disappointed with the fact that there was a sign up that said FREE PALENSTINE and NO ZIONISM. While I respect that everyone has their opinions, I also am ethnically Jewish. My great grandfather was Jewish. A long time ago, the Jews handed Palestine over to the Muslim leadership. They set up a secular government there and the Jews forced their people out so they could give the land over to a secular Muslim government. The Jews helped to set up a secular government and it was a beacon of hope for the Muslims until Hamas came and overthrew it. If there is anything Palestine needs to be free of, it’s Hamas. Israel isn’t the evil one here. It’s horrifying really. Also, as a Christian, the Jewish state is going to one day be eternal. Christian Scriptures say that there will be a new Jerusalem one day.  

          I read a new book. Queer & Christian. I really enjoyed it. 

         Well, gotta run

         WestLeah 

         

UPDATE: Blog fiction + backlist

Jul. 1st, 2026 10:39 am
duskpeterson: The lowercased letters D and P, joined together (Default)
[personal profile] duskpeterson

BLOG FICTION

Tempestuous Tours (Crossing Worlds: A Visitor's Guide to the Three Lands #2). A whirlwind tour of the sites in the Three Lands that are most steeped in history, culture, and the occasional pickpocket.

New installments:


FROM THE BACKLIST

In honor of Independence Day in the USA, a novel-within-a-novel about revolution.


Checkmate (The Eternal Dungeon: Sweet Blood #4).

The Eternal Dungeon is no longer a prison. It's a battlefield.

Split apart from their closest loves and friends, a small group of prison-workers seek to abolish the use of torture against prisoners in the queendom's royal dungeon. Time is running out, for the deadly High Seeker has already flogged and executed prison-workers who oppose his policies.

Do the reformers have enough time and skill to bring about radical change in the dungeon? Will they be able to overcome their mistrust of one another?


NEWS & UPCOMING FICTION

I hope those of you who have been affected the heat waves have been keeping cool. I and my family are nicely air-conditioned so far, but the past month or so has seen me dealing with a documentation problem, a flooded basement, and three family medical crises leading to trips to the emergency room and, in one case, a stay in the hospital.

All that hanging around for doctors to arrive has left me plenty of time in which to write, but I fell short of time in June in which to edit and lay out my next e-book. So I've rescheduled the release of the now-aptly-titled "Wait" to August.

In the meantime, I've decided to add in a new feature to my monthly updates: "From the Backlist." I know that I have a somewhat formidable backlist, and it may seem challenging to know where to start with it. Here's the secret: Start anywhere. I've written nearly all my stories so that they can be read independently of one another. Of course, if you hate spoilers with a passion, you'll want to start at the beginning of each series cycle. But otherwise, you may enjoy having the chance to dip into various spots of my backlist.

Website news: I've added Edward Eager to my Links page and have updated the links to other authors. Among other things, the site of Sylvia Engdahl (which hasn't been updated since 2024) has gone down, which is a little alarming, since the author was born in 1933. If you're interested in her writings, her quite-reasonably-priced books and ebooks are still available at bookstores - though for how long, I can't say; her more recent novels are self-published. Her Children of the Star trilogy, which I first read as a teen, deeply influenced my own writing. (I unconsciously swiped the ending of The Breaking from one of her novels.)


My fiction announcements are also available by e-mail and feeds.

Small summer adventures

Jun. 30th, 2026 12:40 am
allekha: Bright embroidered flowers on black background (Embroidery on black)
[personal profile] allekha
I went to our local-ish Pride parade the other week, for the first time ever since moving here. No particular reason I never went, just always had something pop up that weekend or was out of town or it was super hot and I didn't want to go. I took my rainbow flag and stood waving it like a dork the whole time - this gets very tiring after a while lol - and picked up several handfuls of candy and bought a book and felt a sense of community. It was fun. I'm glad I went. I was standing at the very start, and at one point I thought, this has been going on for a while, I wonder if we're near the end? And I turned around and the line of floats and groups and people waiting for their turn to march still went on and on and you couldn't see the end because there were so many.

It apparently had a record turnout ♥

Z and I also went to a local Renn fair. I wish it wasn't so commercial-feeling, but we enjoyed walking around and seeing everyone all dressed up, and the horses at the jousting event were very cute and the actors were good at riling up the crowd, and the weather was very pleasant.

My skating boots are still not problem-free, but once they warm up, they're not so bad now. I only wish I could figure out how to get them to that warmed-up state without skating in them for half an hour first! In even better news, I finally did my first baby scratch spin after a lot of struggling to get my free leg in front instead of behind (my coach took video, he was SO proud lol), and my rhythm blues dance is almost ready to test.

Side note but at my lesson I was wearing a t-shirt that says 'Thank you' and then has the number 39 in large text below (it's based on one from Blue Exorcist), and afterward I suddenly wondered what people who don't get the joke think it's about.

Z (with a bit of help from me) put together a bookshelf kit we bought, and my office instantly felt 200% better. In part because I was able to get rid of a couple more moving boxes and finally organize my books properly, and in part because I finally have a good place to display things like my YOI nendos and yak friends:
Shelf with decorative objects

I've also managed to get back into my Japanese reading groove, and I'm nearly finished reading Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window. It's one of those books that makes me wish I had someone to talk about it with.
enchantedsnowforest: (Default)
[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest
I think if it weren’t for my anger issues, I would be at peace with myself. I feel happy as a cross dresser/former non-binary. I still get dysphoria but it’s very rarely and it’s not enough I feel to really call myself genderfluid anymore. I’m doing a lot better. I think I am at peace with myself. If only I didn’t deal with anger towards others. I am a cross dresser who just so happens to be bisexual. I think I will read Queer & Christian again. As much as I miss my gender dysphoria, I still feel elated when I get gender euphoria. I still feel happy when I grow out facial hair and the hair on my legs so I may just be gender non conforming with a very slight touch of gender dysphoria. No, I don’t think. I KNOW. I think a cross dresser is mainly what I am with a strong connection to feminine energies. My masculine energy is weaker. Some days I have the desire to have male body characteristics. Those days, I wish I could be called WestLeah with They/Them pronouns. But I don’t really bother to correct people when they call me Aleah on those days because those days are becoming rarer and rarer. I grieve the days I felt the major dysphoria. I feel connected to the effeminate man side of myself but sometimes those days only not even two weeks at at time per every six months or so. So alas, I lean into the cross dressing. Waiting, hoping, praying that the dysphoria comes back. It may be that I killed it when the internalized transphobia or that I may be outgrowing an identity that used to feel at home to me. It’s like the lights are on but no one is home and it saddens me deeply.

What I am happy about is rediscovering my attractions to both men and women. My attractions to women isn’t as strong right now as it is to men but I’m not going to lie, I still would love a friendship with a cis woman - maybe even something more one day should my attraction grow stronger. My attraction to men is pretty strong right now. It’s rare to find one that is not threatened by my crossdressing but that would be nice to discover. I really hope whoever I find a relationship with won’t try to make me “outgrow” it. Crossdressing is a huge part of my identity. I love it to my core even if some people don’t always understand me. My biggest fear is finding someone that will make me choose. 

A Gender-fluid Christian

Jun. 28th, 2026 11:05 am
enchantedsnowforest: (Default)
[personal profile] enchantedsnowforest

Sun. June 28,2026                

dear diary.

        I am listening to a new beautiful lesbian singer. The band name is girli. I really like her music. Not all of it is about falling in love with women. Some of the songs are about self esteem and how to uplift yourself.

       I don’t know where I fall in the LGBTQ community. I know I’m mostly bisexual. I used to feel pansexual given my own identify as mostly a woman but also have dysphoria for soul and body of a man. I don’t know. I have never had an experience with a cis woman save a trans woman. I’ve gone dancing with a beautiful cis woman before. She was lovely. Beautiful blue eyes and red hair. I loved her but I messed it up. My medication ruined the night out because I drank too much on mental medication so I went mentally insane. I called the police and they came to the bar and everyone didn’t like me after that. The lady that took me out took me straight home. It was very embarrassing.

I think I need to start watching lesbian porn again. I miss the chat room I was in at one time. I just feel like I want to watch it on my own now.

      I am queer in the Christian community as well. I read the book Queer And Christian and it opened my mind to a Queer Theology. I don’t agree with everything like Jesus was gay but I see how people find solace in David and Johnathan, Joseph the one who wore the dress of many colors (gender nonconforming) and a host of others. I don’t know how I feel about sex outside of marriage yet but the book invited me to explore the possibility that fornication meant sexual relations outside of consent, prostitution and sex slavery all of which degrades people. Fornication doesn’t mean purity culture like what so many churches teach. Otherwise, why would God allow concubines and multiple wives in the Old Testament? It was a very eye opening book. Although some parts of the book I couldn’t necessarily agree with, I think I am leaning more Progressive Christian than anything. 
- WestLeah 

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